hi

2010-05-29T00:01:00.007+08:00

i will juz highlight on the most important part [well, to me at least. bueks~] of KakakLove's blog entry. hehe! dis is wat she wrote ;

A - Adik beradik
My siblings and I used to be like strangers. We hardly talk to each other because I tend to be on my own everytime I was at home. But, as time goes by, my siblings are already like a part of me. Especially the girls!!! I'm more close with my sis Nurul Jannah since si kecik Nur Amalina stays with our grandma.
I remember when I was still single, Jannah (yucks when I call her this) and I shared the same bed, same room, we even shared gossips, bitching, jokes and of course, our latest updates. Oh, I miss those days..

B - Binatang
Binatang yg paling aku suka adalah zebra. I have lotsa things with zebra prints. Be it hairclips, hairband, tops, dresses, skirts and tights.
The next one would be kucing. Sebab, dulu aku takut kucing, sekarang tidak lagi… Thanks to Lan, the ex.

D - Durian
Dulu aku suka and boleh makan durian, and there was a period where I could neither eat nor smell the durians. Thanks to Hisham, the ex. But…. I can eat durians now!! Thanks to dearest hubby.

G - Grunge
I remember my cousin Lina and I used to dress up in Grunge! Our kental days….. hahahaha... tsk tsk.

H - Handphones
I've started to use handphone when I was in Secondary 4 which I bought it with my own money. Nokia 8250 was my first owned mobile. Lemme try to think how many handphones I've used so far. Well, this is what I could remember: Nokia "The Banana" phone(this is mummy's hp but she let me used it for a period of time), Nokia 8250, Nokia 6600, A Samsung flip phone that I had found. Not sure what's the model number though. Nokia N95, China phone that comes with a built-in tv, Nokia N97, Nokia E63, iphone 3G, Nokia E71, latest mobile; Blackberry.

O - Opposite attracts
Ada ke patut adik aku si Nurul Jannah tu tak paham apa makna opposite attracts?? Please eh dik….

dis will be my rply to eur post KakakLove. STANDBY~ nyehehe!

[A]

YESSSS! i miss those tymes too! nangis oso together eh! joget same2. kekek same2. tgk cite ape title tu? lupe ah! asik teringat 'God of Gambler' jek! tu cite Steven Chao siot! hahaa! yg cite "yuan tu fu shu" tuuu~ i noe eu paham me. hehe! anddddd, kalau feel yuckies to panggil "Jannah", jgn panggil larh gendeng! ape ckp~ HAHAHA!

[B]

eu forgotten sumtin! leopard printssss! ingat? oso, "tiger, tiger wood!" barang baekkkk~ hah! and afta reading dis part, now i realise Fad is soo much alike as Lan. HAHAHA! da dgn rambut baru dier, dgn jacket dier 24/7, jln pie-kia dier. gosh! mcm clone siaa. hehs. and i dint noe Lan lykes cat too. coz Fad haf cats and kittens too kt uma. and he lovessss em more den he loves me![ i tink? nyehehe!] ohh, and talkin bout eu not being afraid of cats anymre, remember 'Tiger'? paling favret kucing seyy tu! winduuuuu! =(

[D]

Hisham?! VROOM VROOOMMMM! vespa, here i comeeee to mcd spore posttttt! tulis surat, bagi bunge~ HAHAHA!

[G]

HAHAHA! lyrics kalau nyanyi pelat pon ttap krg undastnd each other eh?! hee! joget ulat and joget mengelitis satu plssss! ;)

[H]

tu psl aritu tnye handphone zaman gemilang dier sume! rupenye da standby nk type "composition" panjang2 nie! huahuahua~

[O]

BIASA BRO! hahaha! saye kn higher english. english awak pakai tu small the pieces oni! mudah utk difahamkn. pls eh kak..... HAHAHA!

**end of my replies. tankiu horr!**

niwaes, i stil haven made the decision. it juz seems to be gettin too seriuz. i duno. im juz half hearted. it has yet to be proven ENOUGH. well, from my point of view larh kan? haix. and i'v been gettin way too cranky and sensitive lately due to the hotttt weather, and aunt flo. kesian dier sumtymes. tapi kekadang tu macam mmg patot pon ade. hehe! ntahla. i duno. im confused. HELLPPP!!!!

psst ; PhatLove. =)

2010-05-23T18:11:00.002+08:00

OMG. i cnt believed i juz teared. AGAIN. ='(

am i juz being too paranoid? im seriuzly fcukin worried bout my condition as days past by. lyke seriuzly siaa. it may seems lyke im happily smiling and laughing ard my loved ones. but my inner self? i'v been tinkin alotttt. even he realise it. i'l tend to shut myself up, most of the tyme wen im wif him. especially wen he talks bout tat issue too. coz i was afraid tat i'l be unfair towards him, wif me being lyke dis.

and believe it onot, tears still rollin dwn my quarter pounder cheeks as im typing out dis entry.

='(

fcuk yeul. stop being a wet blanket! and btw, my "holiday's" gonna end in 2 days tyme. anotha shittos! pfft. but, im half hearted actuali. excited pluss lazy. hehs. been too long resting at home i guess.

psst ; Allah, show me eur guidance plss? =(

2010-05-21T04:20:00.006+08:00

Time Check ; 4.34 am

i juz put down the phone wif him. up till dis day, i realise tat he has done alottttt for me. sumtymes, i juz dun undastnd myself. wat more do i want from him? why am i being unfair towards him? afta all tat kinda treatment he gets from me, he still can remain patient. sigh. dun eu tink eur being selfish yeul?

i dunno why, but guess im too afraid of all dis ardy. eversince afta H? i mean, the feelings for him is definitely der, and its developing stronger each day. for sure it is! juz tat, i dunno why the hesitation in me? im takin a step at a tyme. juz goin wif the flow. if its meant to be, it will be ryte? ryteee?

ohh! ohh! and i loveeeeee how i spent my nyte wif my sec kul klazmates last wkend! sheesha-ing and chill-ing session afta tat. eventho im the oni gerl left at the end of the nyte, who cares ryte?! as long as i had fun wif my bros! hehs. those stry tellin sessions we had. haix~ memories! laughters! everyting! we ended up reaching home bout 4am. woohooo! seriuzly, sec skul tymes are THE best moments of our lyfes! hell yeaahhh! *winx*

pics ardy being uploaded in FB. too lazy to upload more pics in my blog larh. damn slow! hahaha! so, enjoy viewing my FB la horr?! gonna catch my beauty slp for now. later gonna be maid in action! hmph! gud mornyte evryoneee!

nie baru org kater, SAMSENG JALANAN! ;P

psst ; cant wait for wkends sistaaasss! yay-ness!

2010-05-13T12:48:00.010+08:00

why does it oways turns out the opposite? why?! and true enuff, why are we oways ignoring the one who like us, but like the one whos ignoring us? i min okelaa, i undastnd tat he's not gud in confessing and stuffs lydat. but at leaz gimme a hint can? im totally clueless bout evryting. eur unpredictable.

on the otha hand, sumone's ardy tryna get tings seriuz wif me huh? for now, i dunno. but since day 1, he's been making tat small lil sacrifices for me. and i used to haf a baaadddddd impression on him the ferst tyme. nyehehe! but seriuzly, im not sure for now. i do appreciate tat small sacrifices tat he did. buttttt~ let nature takes its coz la horr?

abe skrg, yg 'past tenses' sumer dtg alik. one by one! sume kalo ajak jmpe, sume kena anta reject shp dgn aku. hehe! haix~ susah larh kan kalau da generasi turon menuron nie. org atasan aku sudaa terang kakakku! e-chu jierrrrr! hahaha~

pls eh yeul! prangai stop it. mintak kena sepak dlm lift je siak! HAHAHA!

ohh ohh! and im freakkiiinnnnggggg excited for dis wkends! yay-ness! *kening naik-naik*

psst ; confused state of mind. =/

2010-05-10T18:50:00.007+08:00

Alhamdulillah, Ya Allah~

=')

I hope dis tyme ard, i wont be lyke last tyme. even if i do miss any of it, at least i'll still rmber how it goes. and i wish to thank tat one particular person, for his endless guidance and support. if it weren't for him, i tink i wud still be oni saying, and not applying to it. as wat i'v oways did the past years. so to eu, THANK YOU. *smiles*

hmm, niwae, sumtymes i wonder knape la minah tudung nie sume prangai agi burok, tak senonoh, bacin, bedano, smelly feet, busok ati, daripd pompan yg tk pkai tudung langsung? sampai sanggup hancurkn rumah tangga org laen. tkd otak pe nk pkir tu pompan? otak letak kt bontot agaknye! yg jantan tu pon 2x5 jgak! otak, otak ba'ong siak! lyke wat i'v said,

I SHALL NOT JUZ SIT DOWN AND WATCH MY GFS BEING CHEATED BY EU FCUKIN JERKS!!!! asses~ bodo siaa~ abe yg pompan tu pon letak kat blog mcm gudgud jek! mcm tk bersalah je. haix, tk paham la aku. kalo nk prangai mcm gtu, tudung tu bukak la dulu. malukn masyarakat jek~ *shakes head*

enuff bout them la. i rmber sumone said dis to me, "biar org buat kite, jgn kite buat org~" so, yeaa. dey'll get their retribution one day. eu chillax oke gf? we'r here for eu. *hugss*

and to my 2 irrit sistas, GAMBAR DA UPLOAD! go self-svc! yg penting, wa paling cute! nyehehe! ;)

"adik badan makin pejal skrg. sexy~ dulu tkde ni mcm."- Daddy.

HAHAHA! nie cnfrm kakak and adikku dgr tlinge bebulusss eh?!

nwdys he oways lyke to say dis sentence. thnx larh horr daddy! i take tat as a compliment. heheh! sistas, ingat mummy ajar, tkmo iri hati oke?

psst ; [S][M][H][B][S][Z][A][A]

2010-05-03T00:41:00.003+08:00

im glad and thankful tat it didnt turn out well between us. i guess if all tat didnt hpn, i wudnt haf managed to find out the truth tat nyte. THANK GOD! phew!

and mebbe, if we'r stil in gud terms, i cudnt even gt the chance to noe him. sumone whos much much betta den eu i can say? well, at leaz hes leading me to the ryte path of lyfe. in wich, i'v been longing to learn, and needed sumone's guidance on it.

so dude, save eur crocodile tears. eu noe wat? when i confessed to my gfs bout it, dey gt shocked too. dey didnt xpect tat kinda reaction frm eu, coz dey too noe tat eur actuali sumone who's rough. but heyy, i dun fcukin care ryte now. wadev i'v found out the otha nyte oso, i cnt be bothered ardy. do as eu deem fit oke?

all i noe is tat, im tryna change for the betta now, and im workin on it bit by bit. pluss, so wat even if im attracted to him? i dun see anythings wrong wif it.

psst ; dun tel me eur sorry, coz eur not.

2010-04-30T10:52:00.010+08:00

HELLLOOOOOO EARTHLINGSSSSS!!!!

;)

hows everyone doin so far? its been a mth since i last blogged huh? well, as some of eu may ardy noe, me and daddy did our operation last mth. so yeaa, we'r bof still recuperating for now. thank god everything went smoothly. syukur, Alhamdulillah~ im still on long mc. 57 days of holidays! hehs. but, i still need to follow up wif my doc every wk, 2-3 tymes. damn tiring i must say. lotsa procedures nid to be done. but, as long as he can assure everything is fine, im oke wif it. *winx*

nevertheless, im itching to go back to werk and meet my frens! especially my part tyme job colleagues. lyke how dey missed me, im missin em even more! as for my full tyme job, im gonna try to work xtra harder, in a way of repaying em afta wat dey've done for me and famly. i can nvr thank em enuff. seriuzly. eventho dey'r bunch of ppl wif full of sarcasm, dey haf a heart of gold, at least. thank eu, the Lee's famly. *smiles*

i swear, i've been thru alot the past years. especially dis HUGE HUGE test tat Allah has given to my famly, and me, specifically. i'v shed buckets and buckets of tears. i was depressed. but on a positive note, dis test has transformed me from a weakling gerl who used to take things for granted, into a more mature and strong lady. and bcoz of tat, i wanna werk my ass off, and repay to those ppl who haf been standing by me, supporting and motivating me endlessly, wen im at my lowest point of tyme. especially my dearest famly. i dunno how im gonna survive witout em.

=')

hmm, and Insyaallah wif the guidance and motivations im gonna get frm -S.M.H-, i'll able to open up my heart, and restart back tat ONE thing i'v been wanting to start since years ago. so awak, eu must help me in dis oke? *insert ~~act~~ cute face*

oryte den. shall end here for now. gotta get ready for anotha doc appt later! ohh! before i forget, i wanna thank eu'll who haf been praying for me and daddy oke? thank eu soo soo much. Allah shall repay eu for eur kind deeds. tkcr lovesss! *hugs*

psst ; slowly, but surely! ;)

2010-03-29T06:30:00.003+08:00

time check ; 7.10 am

AND I STILL CANT GET MY ASS OFF TO BED???!!!!

i guess its bcoz i kept tinkin bout it. yeap, 2 more hrs to go, and i'll be admitted. mebbe i was too nervous/afraid? haix~ and hopefully dis tyme, everyting goes juz the way it is.

some of eu may not noe dis, but i cried on my way to hougang last sat. i min lyke out of sudden. yess, i did. rcving all dos motivation/encouragement msges from my frens,[some of em are not even close to me!] reely touches my heart. it saddens me havin to be apart from em for few mths. im sure gonna miss em! :'(

as for my "husband", aku pon tak tau sejak bile de pandai nak romantika de amor dgn aku. slalunye mulot celupah. ade je nak gado. tapi tadi mlm, bukan maen agi! gatal nak mampos! kalau aku gatal, kena maki. de gatal, bole! binawe~ HAHAHA!

ohh btw, last nyte i went dinner cum supper wif TwinnyLove actuali. update each otha wif our stories, den terserempak Afiq and Sulaiman. lepak-ed wif em, confessed to em the truth bout me, chitchat chitchat, den Sulaiman went home, me and Afiq sent TwinnyLove home ferst. afta tat me and Afiq continue to lepak under my void deck till 4 am. i enjoyed every min listenin to his motivations, advises, and 'syarahan'. lyke seriuzly. de slalu kasi 'syarahan', aku sukeeee skali! menusuk kalbu dan otakku! haha! dari dulu smpi skrg. =)

oke, im done for now. shall update once i'v discharge frm the hosp oke? wish me luck ppl! dun forget to pray for me and daddy! gud mornyte everyoneeee! byebye!

Ya Allah, tolong tabahkan hatiku dan berikan ku kekuatan utk hadapinye...

psst ; ohh man! im sure gonna miss my people! =(

2010-03-24T19:14:00.004+08:00

HELLO HELLO! =)

shocked to see me update? well, yeaa. i told eu tat im gonna be admitted on the 15th ryte? but bcoz of someone's careless-ness[in which i dun wish to mention who], it had to be postponed. i wud be lying if i say tat im not devastated and angry. but things ardy hpn. der's nuthin much i can do. lyfe hafta move on. Alhamdulillah, im gettin over it now. so, the date has now been change to, 29th. 5 more days to go! yikes! im freaking out, yet agn!

hmm, sumtymes i wonder. wonder if dey reely undastnd wat im goin thru. im doin wat i did, for the sake of my future, my famly. its not lyke im enjoying my lyfe and forgettin bout eu ppl ryte? shouldnt bestfriends be supporting and understanding each otha? tinkin back, i do feel hurt sumtymes. i dun even noe wat els to say. but its oke. GOD IS GREAT. im sure dey'l undastand one day. girls, im sowy for not being able to spend my tyme wif ya'll lyke how we used to. once evryting is stable, i'll make it up to eu. i promise.

to anak roslan, i miss being eur SMRT asst. can i do it agn? can i? can i? pretty plss? before 29th preferably. *winx*

to end dis entry,

earthlings, i want eu to meet my "siblingz"........

;)

psst ; aku dade suami tau! HAHAHA!

2010-03-08T16:05:00.005+08:00

its kinda hard actuali. im sacrificing 'Cinta Ixora' for the sake of my future and of coz, my dearest famly. why do i said tat? tats bcoz i ardy took up a part tyme job since laz week. so now, i haf my full tyme job, as well as my part tyme. on second tots, wif tat kind of werkin environment, and wif those 'gerek' ppl, its all worth it! tak dapat tgk 'Cinta Ixora' agi pon tkpelaa~

some of eu may noe, i've long lose interest in my full tyme job. but due to certain reasons, im hanging on to it till today. as for my part tyme job, i swear im lovin every moment of it! in fact, whenever im der, i dun feel lyke goin home. i simply love my new "siblings" der! each and every one of them! especially my 'gila-gila' brothers - Din, Hafiz and Shaikh. i felt soo pampered by them since im the only girl among my team. but feelin kinda bad tho coz Din has been becoming my "despatch rider" eversince. hehs. he nvr fails to fetch me to and fro. he's been a great company the past daes.

the bof of us are kinda in the same boat. as we'v made promise to each other, we bof tryna stay strong, and striving hard to change our lives for the betta. and i notice tat eversince i join dis company, im much more confident and open in tellin ppl bout my conditions. its lyke, i dun reely mind bout sharing it to others now. thnx to them, my new "siblings", for the endless support and motivations. well, apart from earnin the xtra income, i can oso "cuci mate" eu noe! mane nak dapat, keje dgn "eye candy" sumer bersepah sane sini! nie baru org kate, 'killin two birds wif one stone'. HAHAHA! tats partly the reason why i enjoyed workin der. balik mlm2, penat2 pon tkpela. i sanggup~ hee!

i ardy told myself, no party2, no relationship juz yet. for now, juz wanna earn the bucks, help my famly out, and enjoy my tyme wif my new "siblings". juz lyke wat i promised to Nas, who is my director. whenever im wif them, im stress free! coz ders soo much laughter goin on. so now, everyday is a working day for me. even the weekends. hee! *winx*

and fyi, i'll be admitted real soon. dis 15th. daddy's will be on 16th. den our operation is on the 17th. as the date's drawing nearer, i swear im freaking out! not to mention, worried and scared. i guess i will not update my blog anytyme soon. coz lyke i'v said, busy wif work, and oso, gettin mentally prepared for the op. so i tink i'l update agn once the op is over. shall update eu guys once im feelin better, oke? for now, i juz need eu guys to pray for me and my dad. hopefully evyting goes smoothly for us. Amin~

in the meantyme, eu guys be good oke? wait for my nex update horr. love ya'll! sayonaraaa~ *hugsss*

psst ; i lovin it! im lovin them! ;)

2010-03-01T00:47:00.014+08:00

*mentel mode activated*

OMG! im seriuzly addicted to 'Cinta Ixora'! ape tak, ade my all-tyme fav! Syarif and Haizad! HOTTTTTT!!!!! haix~ Syarif, Syarif. *melts* pluss, the 5 gerls oso jambu jamban. envy them eu noe! jelez pon ade! hmph! ohh! ohh! and not forgettin, tat "Mirza" guy from 'Dikir Putri' pon cute bangetttt! *giggles*

now, lets talk bout dis season's AI shall we? based on their performance last week, i'v managed to choose my fav contestants fer dis season. they are :

[Aaron Kelly]
[Alex Lambert][Casey James]
[Didi Benami. yg nie favourite giler!]
[Joe Munoz. but he was eliminated last week. mcm cb!][Lee Dewyze. *melts* his voice reminds me of David Cook & Danny Gokey. hee!][Michelle Delamor][Tim Urban. cute stuff! hehs.]

i noe dis is sucha random entry. boring ryte? but too bad larh. haha! i write wat i like mahh~ bueks!

I MISS BEBOTZ. I MISS BITCHYBOO. I MISS UPIN IPIN. I MISS WONDERGIRLS. I MISS AMERICANBOY. I MISS ABDUL HAFIZ. IM IN LOVE WIF SYARIF AND ALYPH SLEEQ. IM IN LOVE WIF HAIZAD IMRAN. IM IN LOVE WIF JUSTIN BIEBER. IM ATTRACTED TO AWIE. IM CRAVING FOR KFC'S EGG TART. IM CRAVING FOR GELARE'S WAFFLE ICE-CREAM.

psst ; he said he missed me. he wanted to meet. i rejected.

2010-02-27T19:45:00.007+08:00

oke! so, while waiting for my 'Cinta Ixora' to start, i'v decided to update my abandon blog. hehs! well, lyke wat i ardy announced on my FB shoutout the otha day, i'v finally managed to meet up wif my BitchyBoo, last tues, afta werk. one nyte before she goes for her holiday to Genting. afta bout 3 mths not seeing each otha, due to our hectic schedule. hmph! but one thing for sure, i miss dis lady ohh-so-much! and tat nyte, we manage to catch up a lil bit. she shared her story, i shared mine. a greattttt listener she is.

i ♥ you, baby! ;P

we had our dinner at T1- Popeye. afta which chilled at T3 Coffee Bean. story tellin till bout 10.30, den home sweet home. coz she need to pack her stuff for the nex day, and im meeting my AmericanBoy at my hse area. i loved how i spent my tyme tat nyte, wif bof my BitchyBoo, and AmericanBoy. lepak giler! haaha!

and why i address him as AmericanBoy? its between us. hee! but i dunno why he called me Lady Gaga. nak kata pasal rambut, da bukan. rambutku da pnjg. agaknye dier nak ckp Lady GAGAP tk? hahaha!

i tot we cnt contact for dis 2-3 days to come. coz he'll be on leave frm werk, and he got 'kenduri' at home. so, kena paham-paham larh kan. tkle get in touch. but sumhow, he took the initiative to kol me fer awhile juz now. in a way, he "accompanied" me till i reached home. hee! thnx AmericanBoy! and thnx to me, hes now addicted to 'Two is Better Than One' song. *winx*

okela, done for now! afta watching my show later, need to continue cleaning my room agn! pfft! adios ppl! happy weekends! *hugsss*

psst ; im attracted to Awie larh seyy! i dunno why. lu rock braderrr~ HAHAHA!

2010-02-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

only left wif me and my parents in dis 4-room flat now. elderbro werking, lil'bro went out to celebrate his fren's burfdae. was suppose to tag along initially. but wasnt feeling quite well today. besides, the mood to go wasnt der. and he was ardy on his way out when i reached home frm werk. so yeaa, plan to follow him, cancelled. and now im bored at home. haix. kinda regret didnt go out. but on second tots, skrg da 2010 beb! tryna limit myself. *winx*

and by browsing thru my frens FB, most of them are goin out, goin partying. haiyamakk~ aku je yg betaper kt uma nie. pfft! yg penting niari we cnt layan karenah masing-masing eh. must wait till tmr. den its on the safer zone. aiyaiyai~ now eu get the clearer pic why i said it feels lyke im his "kept woman"? but i noe im not actuali. im juz being paranoid tho.

niwae. lookin back at my nephew, BbyIlhan, video which i took at Sembawang Park the otha day, simply tickles me. haha! so cuteeee! mane nak dapat, budak kecik joget traditional dance, but wif a backgrnd music, lagu Tipsy! imagine dat? mesti cute kan kalau budak kecik joget mcm tu! i kol it, 'Tarian Kude-Kude HipHop'. HAHAHA!

okela, no idea of wat to blog ardy. waitin fer my fone to beep the very ferst thing in the mornin tmr, since hes on mornin shift! chiaoz! *winx*

psst ; two is betta den one. ;)

2010-02-18T23:28:00.005+08:00

i dunno why. but for the ferst tyme, in my whole entire 21 yrs of life, dis is the ferst tyme im feeling dis way. its not a big issue YET actuali. but still? the sense of guilt is somehow der. yess true, i can juz treat him as my entertainment. juz lyke one of Adam Lambert's hits, "For Your Entertainment". hee! tapi, kawan mmg kawan. guilty tetap guilty. on the otha hand oso, i learnt ALOTTTT from him. base on his experiences, listenin to his stories, his points of view, his advises. it does motivates me on wat kind of lyfe i wanna lead in future.

i noe dis aint ryte. i noe! but its not lyke as if i did sumtin unforgiveable wif him kan? its true tat ders nuthin goin on between me and him. tapi, circumstances makes me feel as if im his "kept woman". and tat feelin sux totally! as for now, im juz goin on wif the flow. but not to worry my loves, i will noe my limits. *winx*

and as for daddy and my operation, AGAIN, its being delayed. haix~ when the coordinator called to inform me juz now, honestly, my heart sank straight after. but den, in my heart, i was singing, *pernahkah kau merasa, hatimu hampaaa~* HAHAHA! sempat siak drama! hiak-dusshhh!

da larh, i dowan tink bout my matter wif him fer now. hopefully it wont turn into a nitemare larh horr! remember yeul, eu got a reality check to look at here. REMEMBER!

psst ; eu wuldnt wanna make sumone be a divorcee ryte?

2010-02-07T23:56:00.004+08:00

"i lyke eu, but im scared to fall in love again, or to be loved."

fcuk tat jerk who said tat! mcm paham! dasar mmg ade darah DKK! putar belit, putar belit jgak la kau! i duno why i was soo stupid last tyme to keep forgiving eu over and over agn. tinkin bck, i kinda regret my actions. i shudnt haf forgiven eu the otha tyme. so at leaz, dis wnt hpn. haix. but tkpla kan, yeul believes in karma. im sowy my otha half anak ali. told eu i wnt maki, but cudnt help it! fire burnin beb! haha!

but im glad i dint cry over it dis tyme. guess im adapted to it ardy? mebbe all dis T&G tingy is ardy becumin part of my life? or mebbe im juz a jinx wen it cums to love? i began questioning myself nwdys. i began to haf doubts bout me. but my loved ones are oways motivating me. dey kept tellin me tat it aint my fault. dos jerks are the one who dint noe how to cherish me. and i believe tat dey'r fcukin ryte bout it! hoho~ im betta off witout em! ryte sayangs? *winx*

on a happier note, sumtin which i'v been waiting fer quite a long tyme finally manage to make me smile widely tho. fer now, im not sure to which extend it can help put a smile on my face. all i noe, im lovin it! hehs. *kening naik-naik*

ohh, and i told eu tat im goin karaoke and dinner at arnold last thur ryte? it didnt hpn. the was suppose to be a happy event turns out into a sad one instd. my uncle passed away on tat particular dae. it was a shocked to evryone of us. he wasnt suffering frm any chronic disease actuali. but yet, it still hpn. haix. semoga arwahnye ditempatkan dgn org-org yg beriman. Amin~

psst ; lyke finally! i manage to get it! haha! and to eu, fug eu!

2010-02-03T00:00:00.005+08:00

i hope all my prayers will be answered one dae. juz one fine dae. im sure it will. im sure! god, pls make it hpn will eu? open up her heart and mind. show her the light of truth. coz i believe, ALLAH MAHA MENGETAHUI. its juz soo painful to watch her cry evry nyte. yess, i min EVERY NYTE. enuff wif her handling wif my issue, and now dis? god, guide all of us thru evryting. gif us the strength to face the obstacles eu'v given us. kuatkan larh iman kami, YA ALLAH~

:'(

wadev it is, i must try not to stress/pressure myself in the weeks to come. the same goes to daddy. doctor said we need to relax our mind and must try not be sick. why? coz bof of us gonna go fer our operations pretty soon, and obviously doctor wants evryting to go smoothly. tats why, wif daddy being emotional nwdys kinda worry me. haix. but no matter wat, im glad and thankful tat i haf 2 mums, and 2 dads, whos oways der fer me. be it wen im up, or dwn. thank eu. *hugs*

one more thing. haf i ever told eu guys tat -his- mum texted me on my burfdae? well, not to wish me tho. coz she dun even noe it was my burfdae. she juz updated me bout her son. and if im not mistaken, the world cup will be in june ryte? am i ryte? sumone dbl cnfrm wif me can? if it is, den im gonna freak out. i duno wat i shud do. its juz a matter of tyme. sooner or later. geez~

on a happier note, i cnt wait fer thur! karaoke-ing and arnold-ing wif beloved sibz! yipee! lagu ramlah ram satu laa! HAHAHA!

and and and! eu noe wat?! -J- is backkkkk! now, tats wat i kol, DEJAVU. im not sure how i felt actuali. happy? afraid? i duno. pfft.

psst ; eventho eu pissed me off, i still love eu. eu noe tat?

2010-02-01T00:52:00.010+08:00

millions apologies fer neglecting eu, dear diary. been busy goin to and fro the hosp fer my pre-op procedures. pluss, lazy of coz. hehs. i feel lyke deleting my tagg acct. feel lyke deleting evryting. wadev accts tat i haf. well, mebbe xclude FB. but, ntahla kan. ohh, to my two sisters, pandai eh krg! kalo aku tk updte, pandai nk comment bungkus jual nasi lemak la, nasi sambal grg la, nasi padang la! itu la, ini la. kalo krg nye blog terbiar skian lamer, tkp! binawe betol~ chet!

aniwae, lyke i said in my prev entry, i shall talk on how i celebrated my 21st. well, basically, it was juz a simple celebration. wif Hafiz, Aceh, and of coz, dearest famly. spend quality tyme together wif em on diff daes. and im feelin soo pampered by em! i loikeee! hee! if i cud haf an award presented to em, base on diff category, dis ppl will definitely be the winner. well, in my opinion larh kan. bueks!

BEST/SWEETEST BURFDAE WISH VIA CALL ;

Hafiz.

wat he did was, he koled me at 0020 tat nyte, and wishes me. not oni his voice tat i hear. he went passin his hp ard to his 5 otha frens, and get em to wish me "happy burfdae". i was speechless and shocked, when i heard 6 diff tone of voice wishing me "happy burfdae yeul!" and yess, i find wat he did was sucha sweet thang! awww~

BEST/SWEETEST BURFDAE WISH VIA TEXT MSG ;

TwinnyLove.

she managed to make me cry reading her long compo msges. hehs. eu noe, i noe larh kan. *winx*

BEST BURFDAE CELEBRATION ;

obviously wif dearest famly! outing to "Hollywood Dinos"! afta wich, yummy foods! ohh, and of coz, the second place goes to, Hafiz, yet agn!

BEST BURFDAE GIFT ;

oke, i cnt decide on dis part. coz i loved all the burfdae gift tat i received! greedy me! hehe! so, eu decide horr!

[from abg and gf, Lina.]

[fossil watch from KakakLove.]

[from darling papa & famly.]

[my long-awaited shoes, frm dearest mummy and daddy. yay! finally!]

[tix to hollywood dinos! hoohooo!]

oke, as oways, im lazy to upload all the pics here. why? coz slow nak mampos! so eu noe wher to view the rest of the pics larh ehk. *winx*

hmm, haf i ever told eu guys tat i'v been eating alotttttt since the past 1-mth plus? yess, i'v been munching and munching non-stop! not to forget, the cravings tat i had! huge change in my appetite eu noe! sooner or later, if i dun control myself, im sure im gonna be eur nex "BUBBLE GERL". hahaha! fug siaa.

dis are the list of foods tat i craved. but i manage to fulfil my cravings sumhow. thnx to gfs! sowy eh krg kena layankn karenah aku! hehs!

carrot cake @ downtown eaz.
laksa, char kuey and fried wanton @ far eaz plaza.
crayfish pasta @ swensen
hotdog bun @ 1901
tom yam ban mian @ raffles hosp

and now im craving fer sumtin which i noe i cant fulfil it juz yet. eu noe wat? im now havin the craves to eat my all-tyme favourite seafood dishes at Golden Prawn, Batam! how? can go onot?! haha. impossible!

lastly, to end dis entry, i juz wanna let tat sumone noe tat, im tremendously disappointed wif her. im so fcukin sad seeing things dis way. and wats even heartbreaking fer me was, seeing bof my parents crying bcoz of her. even daddy! sumone who has oways been a hepy-go-lucky chap. i duno larh kan. its a mixed emotions. im angry and sad wif bof parties. satu side ego semcm, agi satu side plak mcm tkd kpale otak nk pkir. eur ol enuf to tink siaa. haix. sumtyms i do wish i cud turn back tyme. it wnt turn out dis way if we prevent it frm happenin in the past. and wat made me cry during the meeting juz now was when daddy said, "org danak gi operation nie nanti. nie tentang nyawa. kite tk tau ape akan jadi. tapi dier tkde amik kesah pon! tkde tnye khabar ke ape ke. kalau pape jadi, tk dpt jmpe lagi, bile yg bole dpt rase kasih sayang dari dier?!"

agn, fug it! hate it siaa when sumone speaks lydat. so, to eu. pls, open up eur heart and mind. i beg eu! dey dint want it to hpn too. eu cnt blame em. circumstances made em did wat dey did in the past.

:'(

psst ; dear god, pls make miracle happen. pretty pls?

2010-01-02T22:30:00.006+08:00

i guess i was too bored, tats why i'v decided to post a short entry. hmm, im all alone rotting at home now. was suppose to meet BitchyBoo and spend my nyte wif her. lyke a so-called belated burfdae celebration gtu larh kan. i'v yet to celebrate it wif her. tats why we wanna meet tonyte. but i felt lethargic as soon as i ended werk juz now. tats the reason why i cancelled the plan. sowy BitchyBoo! :(

and now, im goin berserk sittin at home alone! Aceh's werkin. he must be busy ryte now, coz Ja Rule is in town! and i hafta wait fer him to text me. haix.

on a brighter note, cnt wait to go out wif dearest famly tmr! gonna celebrate my belated burfdae wif em, and gonna see dinosaursssss! woohooo!

"ABG!! ADIK!! JOM KITE TGK E'SHOR!! YOKK!!"

=P

hahaha! fer dos hu dun noe, e'shor stands fer dinosaur. baby kn 'pelat'. hehs. ohh! as stated in my prev post, i shall updte on my 21st celebrations nex tyme! all at once! hokay? hoho. toodless~

psst ; wadev it was, juz remain it dis way oke, love?. :)

2010-01-02T02:18:00.004+08:00

time check ; 3.00 am

on my burfdae, Hafiz asked me wat are my wishes fer year 2010. i said i dunno. but all i wished, is to shed lesser tears, coz i ardy shed too much of it in 2009. he den nod his head, and smiled.

but now, it doesnt seems to go the way i wanted to. i ardy shed my ferst tears dis new year. the reason? i dun wish to say it here, but bof my sistas knew. disappointing, heartbreaking. tat two guys are partly the reason why i prefer spending my tyme outside, coz i haf no one els here. haix.

:'(

oso, while i was doin my treatment at about 9pm juz now, i juz felt lyke texting Aceh outta sudden, when i ardy knew tat he wuld leave fer werk during tat timing. but sumhw, my instinct tells me tat sumtins not ryte. and so, i texted. i was shocked wen reading his rply. i called him strait afta. he was waitin fer his dad to come and assist him. he had a minor accident at the xpressway. he was kinda late fer werk, and so he speeded. den he slipped and fell. he said he was lucky ders no car behind him at tat point of tyme. if not, fer sure he'l gt run over by it. he told me tat he was still shivering bout the whole incident while talking to me. aku yg dgr nie pon da mengigil! ape lagi dier yg kena?! mcm cb kan tu jantan?! tularh! bwk laju-laju agi! abe pastu masih nak gi keje. step hero je! geram~ *shakes head*

enuff laa. shall update more bout my burfdae nex tyme. gudnyte! ohh, and i reely hope Wawan's doin fine. wished i could help him in anyway. altho its been weeks now, its still a huge lost to him. stay strong sayang!

psst ; i dunno if we'r on the ryte path.

2009-12-27T23:31:00.041+08:00

time check ; 2.50 am.

ferst and foremost, i need to say dis coz its much much much mooorreeeeee important den SI results.

HAPPY 24th ANNIVERSARY DEAREST MUM & DAD!!!!

yeaa, thnx to em, im here in dis world. happy anniversary ayah, mummy! eur the best parents i ever had! havin sucha loveable parents, i couldnt ask fer more. daddy wif his foreva "prasan sachok", and mummy wif her foreva "acting cute". hehs! bof of em nvr fail to lighten up my lyfe. dey'r my pillar of strength and support. i love eu guys, ohh-soo-much! muuahhh!

oke, now lets talk bout SI. honestly, i wuld haf prefered if Sylvia were to win. but on the otha hand, Sezairi was great too! so, i was kinda satisfied wif the result actuali. bof were my fav since start. unlike the ferst 2 seasons whereby i wuld scream my lungs out when the result was announced, dis tyme i didnt. the only tyme i shouted was when Taufik performed. hahaa! till mummy and daddy who fell aslp while waiting fer the result, woke up in shock coz dey tot the results was out. hehs! kesian~ and to fellow SINGAPOREANS who cant accept the fact tat Sezairi had won, stop all dose discriminations can? so wat if its anotha MALAY, MALE idol? pfft! pathetic siaa. *shakes head*

ohh! ohh! im kinda nervous and excited fer dis tues! why? coz im celebrating my 21st wif bof my loved ones, Hafiz and Aceh.[are eu satisfied now, twinny? hahaa!] gonna go out wif Hafiz ferst, den Aceh. talkin bout Aceh, im missin him badly ryte now! still waitin patiently fer his return frm KL. the feelin im havin ryte now is exactly the same lyke how i used to feel in the past, when waitin fer tat palaf*ck to be released frm the DB. seems lyke a dejavu. the only diff was, he went to DB due to his mistakes, Aceh went to KL fer a holiday. i cried fer daes when i culdnt get in touch wif tat palaf*ck. as fer Aceh, i did not cry. instead, my mind was disturbed. mcm meracau gtu ah. abe susah nak tdo. haha! tats bcoz im soo used to hearing his voice and receiving his msges evrydae. even before bedtime. but now, my hp went dead outta sudden. witout his msges and fone kols. so nowadays if my fone rings, i dun reely bother, coz i know its not frm him.

altho its juz a short holiday, i do still miss him. well, eventho we managed to meet up fer awhile at his werk plc. but tat doesnt count! coz we didnt reely spent tyme together. he was werkin, while i was havin fun wif girlfies and Zaimy tat nyte. actually we planned to meet the nex dae, which is on fri, coz hes leavin on sat. so, tot before attending BeBoTz_Naf's engagement, we can meet. but due to the unsolved arguement we had on tat thur nyte, we didnt manage to meet. pasal ape? pasal ego! ikotkan prasaan sgt! but im glad tat the issue was solved, nyte before he leaves. and thank god he will be back on late nyte mon. juz in tyme fer my 21st! yay! *winx*

lastly, tyme fer picturesssss! from oldest to latest. more on FB horr! happy viewing! byebye~ *waves*

[my much ygr modelling partner, Shayana.]

[the makeup artist wif his models.]

[me & Aceh's fav pc. hehs!]

[makeup artist, the models and my sweet P.A!]

[Ong, our cameraman. see? skeding kan! mcm cicak kobeng. hee!]

[i tink i will look nice wif perm hair. hoohoo!]

[due to personal reason, im not allowed to display Zaimy's pic.]

[from her to him.]

[from him to her.]

[i wonder who will be nex. definitely not me! haha!]

psst ; take me as i am. ;)

2009-12-27T02:27:00.001+08:00

will update dis blog of mine pretty soon!

not forgettin the pics too!

stay tune!

;)

psst ; im strugglin!

2009-12-14T01:24:00.005+08:00

its ardy 2.30 in the mornin, and i stil cnt gt my eyes to shut! i dunno why. was it bcoz of, i ardy woke up late in the afternoon juz now, or was it bcoz i stil feel the enjoyment and xcitement i had on sat? i mean, my photoshoot was cool. evryting went perfectly fine, eventho der was a minor change of plan. and at nyte? it was definitely the sequel to my 141109! reely had a blast! girlfie called ourselves as Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, spore version. haaha! memandai je ni anak. chet!

but seriuzly, i reely lovedddddd how i spent my sat! Ein said moz prolly he wants me to be his model for his photoshoot nex mth. we'l see how tings go larh kan. and the cameraman, Ong, who look juz lyke Mr. Bean, compliment me bout my shots. he said tat i haf the expressions of a model and i noe how to pose infront of the camera. haaha! kembang seyy mak skjap! puji sikit-sikit sudaa blang dier. hehs!

ohh, TwinnyLove has reely been a sweetheart. she accompanied me to the photoshoot, and became my P.A fer the whole dae. thankie thankie twinny! love you bucuk-bucuk! hehs! P.A tu ape sista? P.A tu PA! hahaa!

afta the photoshoot, chilled at Esplanade fer awhile, den went home. put my stuffs, and out of the hse agn. yet it was anotha damn worthy nyte! wadev hpn, its juz between the 4 of us. yess, juz Yeul, Din, Huda, Fik. *winx*

lyke i said, it was the sequel to my 141109. juz tat it was wif diff bunch of ppl. yay! oso, twinny did manage to snap some of the photoshoot pics, usin my own cammie. IF im not lazy and tired to upload it here, i'l juz upload it in my FB oryte? pluss the pics i took wif my lovelies tat sat nyte. hokay? juz wait horr! *smiles*

btw, juz wanna tel eu guys, go watch 'Zombieland'. hahaa! not reely a MUST WATCH movie, but its still funny tho. hmm, watched it wif Yasir juz now. his treat! hehe! met him afta he ends werk at 7 pm. so, it was a movie date, afta which, lepak-ed, den he send me home. i stil cnt forget the lame convo we had.

Yasir : eu, nex sunday eu free?

Me : nex sunday? entah. ape date tuu?

Yasir : entah. jawab je, eu free tdak?

Me : yelaa, nak kena tau jugak ape date tuu.

Yasir : kejap eh. *checkin his fone calendar*

Yasir : it's on the 20th.

Me : lerr, so eur talkin bout cumin week nie larh? ckp larh! ni ckp nex wk, nex wk. sepak baru tau!

Yasir : ahh, yelaa. same la tu. hehe!

Me : hmm, entah eh. tapi insyallah larh. why?

Yasir : tkde, jom kite khawin! HAHAHA!

Me : HAHAHA! hotak eu! giler!

lame kan nie anak? tibe-tibe je siaa. haaha! tk btol! tsktsk. oke, its late. i reelyyyy need to slp ardy! if not, der'l be anotha "zombie" at werk nanti. huahuahua~ gudnyteeee!

psst ; countin dwn to 29th, and of coz, the mth of feb! ;)

2009-12-11T00:30:00.005+08:00

tears of joy rolled down my cheeks. the happiness and excitement im feelin ryte now is unexplainable. but the perfect word fer evryting is, ALHAMDULILLAH~ *smiles*

straight afta i rcv tat fone kol, i shared the great news to dis bunch of lovelies. be it in SMSes, or fone kols. in sequence, dey are :

CALLED ;

Dearest Mummy. [wanted to kol daddy, who was suppose to be the VIP, but he was aslp. hehs!]
KakakLove.
Hafiz. :)

TEXTED ;

Mama & Papa. [coz dey haf been der fer me thruout dis whole journey]
Apul.
BeBoT_Huda. [her mum is lyke so-called my godmummy. shes been soo caring and concern bout me. so yeaa, told girlfie to convey my "thanx" to her.]
Lil'bro
TwinnyLove

"why are eu crying? eu shud be happy ryte? at leaz eur nightmare will come to an end soon." - dearest mummy

"thank god, the biggest burfdae gift eu wished fer has finally come true kan eu? Alhamdulillah~" - Hafiz

yess, indeed Hafiz. the biggest gift tat i wished fer my 21st burfdae is finally coming true. haix. lyke seriuzly, before receiving tat fone kol, i was being indecisive bout some decision i hafta make wif girlfie and lil'bro. but afta tat je, lupe sume! sampai tk kuase nak ingat pape pon! juz kept tinkin/prayin bout tat news je. hehs! and i reely hope evryting will turn out smoothly.

i can sincerely feel tat the bunch of lovelies listed above are feelin thankful and happy fer me too. but to dos who haf yet to know, im sure dey'll feel the same way too once i break dis news to em. *winx*

psst ; eu nvr fail to make me laugh my ass off anak suardi. hehs! :)

2009-12-09T01:02:00.003+08:00

on acct to Wawan and Cat's constant nags/advice, i took MC. haaha. yess, 2 days MC infact. mon and tue. which means, i'l be goin back to werk later! bleargh~ mummy insist of me goin to the doc tat nyte. wanted to wait till morn and go poly instd. but reely cnt tahan. woke up evry hr. so yeaa, at bout 4am, went to A&E. cough, flu, fever, chest pain. and yg penting, suare da mcm bapok. suare tarakkkk hoorrrr! haaha!

on a brighter note, im truly happy tat bof my dbl 'S' gt thru the finals! yay! see Deddy? my prediction was spot-on! i can be the nex judge kan? hehs! eur Tabby is out braderrr! tkmo nangis oke? huahuahua~

AND AND AND! i cnt wait fer my sat! the photoshoots, makeups and of coz! hope tat the sequel of 141109 will hpn. *kening naik-naik*

nex, to eu-noe-who-eu-are, im not sure if i can ever believe eur words agn, dude. eu told me ders nuthin goin on between eu bof. but im sure tat eur startin to fall fer her ryte? why are eu stil being denial den? isit soo hard juz to admit? wat are eu scared of? juz tell me the truth. i need to noe. plss.

goshh, im feelin shitty ryte now. i need my Hafiz badly.

psst ; eur juz one bloody cheater!

2009-11-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

im reely sowy mummy. i juz find it hard to speak up to eu bout it.

:'(

ohh, and happy 21st, to the 'kekasih gelap' tat used to exist.

psst ; today was reely an emotional day fer me. haix~

2009-11-27T03:12:00.007+08:00

time check ; 4.28 am.

i miss Upin Ipin and their mummy. i miss Wawan. i miss Hafiz. i miss BitchyBoo. i miss BeBoTz. i miss my sec skul bros. most importantly, i miss 141109 ohh-soo-much! can i turn back tyme? pretty plss?

niwaes, wad wud eu do if eu ever encounter an experience where eur actuali in contact wif 2 guys, and coincidently, eu found out tat dey are actuali blood bros? yess! im now goin thru tat experience. sucha small world huh?! i wasnt xpecting tat, seriuzly. i knew the elder one ferst. but now im kinda on a bad term wif the elder one. tuptuptup~ kenal dgn adiknye pulak. haix. i mean i ardy knew the ygr one way before the misunderstanding between me and elder one happen. kekok tu kekok ah nak layan bof of em at the same tyme. but who cares? org kate, kawan biar ramai. haaha! yang penting, abg tak tau yg adiknye tgh contact dgn aku. tapi adik tau aku pernah contact dgn abgnye. but he said he dun care bout wadev history i had wif the bro. cheh! mcm p.

Hafiz has been sucha sweet the past weeks. altho sumtyms im kinda pissed wif his "smangat maggie" attitude. but well, learnin frm the past experience, im used to it now. he has been waking me up fer work. being der fer me whenever i need a listening ear. forever making me smile/laugh all alone wif his 'loyar buroksss'. and now, i juz realise how important he is to me, i dun wish to lose him agn. i'v lost him not once, not twice, but thrice. and tats enuff. akusayangkamu teman gerekku! *winx*

and 121209, HERE I COMEEEEE! finally can feelin-feelin top model again larh kan?! the last photoshoot i had was the one i took under Fatimah Mohsin. and now nak try under Ein pulak. yay! but im feelin kinda nervous actually. i was kinda stumped when Ein informed me bout the location. where? CHIJMES! on a sat nyte?! paiseh or wat siaa? hahaa! hopefully evryting goes smoothly! *cross fingers*

psst ; camat ari raye haji sumer! embekk~ embekk~ :P

2009-11-22T00:53:00.006+08:00

waiting patiently fer Wawan's return. he went JB wif famly. haix~

talking bout Wawan, he and KakakLove shares the same burfdae. 23rd Nov. hehs! how cool! planned to celebrate it 2geda wif girlfie. yess, a so-called dbl date. but he hafta leave fer JB last fri nyte. in which initially, it was suppose to be sat nite. so, too bad larh kan?! dbl date cancelled! hahaa! now awaitin fer his return. sun nite! come fasterrrr!

on a positive note, i cnt wait fer nex mth! yay! pretty plss Hafiz? make it hpn dis tyme! surprise me oke?! hehs. and! im soo wanting to haf a makeover fer my burfdae. my ol' fren, Ein, will be my makeup artist. he quoted me verryyyy gud price eu noe! even mummy said oke. planned to do it wif BeBoTz. but some of them tak minat, some no money, some stil unsure. so, i duno. mebbe wif BitchyBoo? tu pon kalau dier nak. kalau tk pon i alone ah. lyke he said, "at least eu bole feeling diva per!" haaha! bukan da mmg diva ke? HAHAHA! so, yeaa. hopefully evryting goes smoothly! *winx*

psst ; felt soo gud afta having facial wif mummy juz now. weee!

2009-11-20T02:14:00.008+08:00

on second tots, i dun tink i wanna elaborate more bout my prev post. why? coz ferstly, i dun tink its necessary anymre. at leaz me and my BeBoTz noes the reason why, da cukop. i shall tell my BitchyBoo too if i mit her. secondly, im still using my irrit comp! leceh betol! i'v yet to rmber my pswrd fer my lappie. i guess i'l juz hafta reboot it. haix~ sakit hati bangetttt! but, im left wif no otha choices! pfft.

so, watched PARANORMAL ACTIVITY wif lil'bro and dearest mummy juz now. bessttttt gilerrrr! cumer! yg uat aku mengamok skjap was, ders dis bunch of MATS sittin infront of us. mak kauuu~ kecoh siak! comment and sound effect tk perlu siaa blang dorang! ikotkn hati mcm nak halau dorang alik dudok kat uma diam-diam tgk cite anak metro sudaa. chet! f*ckin attn seekers!

ohh, me and Deddy K played guessin game. we hafta predict wich idol will be eliminated tat wed nyte. he choses Charles, but my prediction was ryte. im glad tat Faizal finally got eliminated. hereby i wish to say, the last 2 idols standing shall be my dbl 'S'. Sylvia and Sezairi! oke oke oke?! hahaa!

hmm, and tat pic up der? whoeva was wif me tat nyte, may noe. *insert wide smile*

Helmy kept apologising, i find it kinda tough to accept it eventho its a small issue. but he reely piss me off dis tyme! and now tat Hafiz is back, im smiling agn.

psst ; make it hpn agn lovesss! weeee~ :D

2009-11-12T01:09:00.004+08:00

AKU SAKIT HATI GILER BABI, BABI GILER!!!!!

truly, madly, deeply in ~~love~~ anger ryte now! bout who? what? where? how? when? i'll elaborate on my nex post! now too angry ardy! pfft! byebye!

psst ; it takes two hands to clap braderrr~

2009-11-08T03:22:00.005+08:00

time check ; 4.25 am

still culdnt get to slp! why? coz since 11pm until now, i'v been tryna figure out wats my log in pswrd fer my lappie! yess! lyke bodo ryte! forgot own pswrd! pfft! and if eu wanna xpect me to depend on my pswrd hint, itu pon tkle harap! bukan-bukan jek! stoopid siaa yeul! *slaps forehead* my mind seriuzly went blank siaa afta switchin on the lappie. yg penting skrg tgh pkai comp yg irrit nie ehk. screen gedabak. the keyboard, or shud i say the spacebar specifically, yg menguji kesabaran aku. speaker tkle dgr. grrr! sumpah irrit nak mamposss! haiyaa! den hw?! den hw?! i wudnt wanna reboot my lappie! NOOOOO!!!!! i reely nid to brainstorm and figure out my pswrd! god, pls helpppp! mcm nak menangis tak berlagu nie! :'(

ohh, speaking of menangis, i'v been gettin emotional lately. dis tyme, TOO emotional. gt carried away easily. fer 3 consecutive days, i broke dwn. hows tat? the ferst was wen i had my date wif BitchyBoo, last Tue. wadev she said tat nyte, reely touches my heart. bout wat? its juz between us. well, not reely actuali. coz -he- was beside me. i assume -he- wud listen to it too. alaa, i dun mind anyway. -he- ardy knew bout it.

nex, was the following dae, wich is, Wed. i was doin some filing at werk wen suddenly my fav song, 'Already Gone', was played on air. i reminisced wadev BitchyBoo confessed to me the prev nyte. i was seriuzly touched by her words. i min, we'v been frens fer 4 yrs nw. but dis is the ferst tyme, she said sumtin soo meaningful and sweeetttttt nak mamposs! awwww~ bitch! sumpah aku sayang kau giler babs! and eu dun nid to feel guilty fer making me cry oke? eur nt in the wrong at all! abe da tgh emosi-emosi psl BitchyBoo confessions, skali tak tau mcm mane le terpkir psl si jantan sundaleeee tu ehk? amcm bole terselit dlm montage aku pon tak tau larh kan! but wat i noe, i was tinkin bout wat he did to me. wat wrong haf i done, till i deserve dis frm him? rumours, badmouthing. haix. *shakes head*

lastly, it was Thur. and dis is the worst one i tel eu! afta werk, met 2 of my BeBoTz, Nanie and Naf, fer dinner. met at TeaTarik, Tamp. gedebak gedebuk, met -him- at 9pm. chilled, heart-to-heart talk, confessions, story tellin bout the past. tats wat we did. and i broke dwn during our convo. ni nangis rabak nye! kejap, kejap je nangis. i guess i'v reached my breaking dwn point ah. bout wat? the reality. wat els? tats why i gt carried away, crying. -he- was der fer me the whole tyme, lending his ears and his shoulder to cry on. oso, ders a point of tyme, he broke dwn afta tellin me sumtin related bout him.

i felt totali dwn tat nyte, till i dun even feel lyke goin home or even sleep. padahal the nex dae keje tau. imagine, frm 9pm, ehh, frm keje pagi in fact!, to 6.20am lydat. *shakes head* ape agi, smpi uma mcm pink panther ah. msok mcm pencuri. hehs. the best part is, i didnt even inform my parents tat i'l be goin home late. they oni knew i was at Tamp larh. daddy did call me a few tyms. but i didnt ans. why? coz i didnt wanna let em see me in tat kinda state if i go home. i didnt wanna let em noe tat i cried or wher i am. i oni want em to see me smiling and laughing. tats it. i dun wanna upset em. but i admit, sumtyms its pressurising and depressing fer me to handle all dis "dramas". tat xplains the "tsunami" fer 3 consecutive daes. still, the nex dae kena interrogate wif daddy. but, i didnt say a word.

and to eu J_B_A,

TERIMA KASIH CINTA. :')

psst ; 051109, unforgettable and sweetest moments. :)

2009-11-01T19:24:00.027+08:00

oke, i noe it may be inappropriate fer me to blog out bout dis. but hell yea, i dun care bout it anymre! i cudnt accept it! i wanna share my anger wif evryone! in fact, im burnin wif vengeance! shitttt! well, i admit its all in the past. eventho i have yet to forgive and forget bout wadev eu did to me, i seriuzly dun hold any grudges on eu. but eversince girlfie helped me out juz now, and she send me the convo she had wif eu, i swear i was f*ckin pissed!

earthlings, READ DIS! but beware, eu may not reely undastnd wat dis jerk is saying. tak tau ah ehk dekni bobal bhase thai ke tagalog. tapi eu can agak larh wat he was tryna say. ohh, my girlfie was tryna "investigate" actuali. so, all dis are juz drama frm her.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Your buddy sent a Bandoo Nudge.

hello...

wat pe..

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

ellllo...

tak uat pape...

than u..

u att or single???

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

same...ngh dengar lagu...

you rase???

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

attc...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

tapi i rase macam da tak...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

asl u ckp gitu...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

i da takde ati la ngn die...i busy giler sey...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

asl plk....bole gitu...

dah jelak eh...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

hehehe...

mane ade...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

bz with???

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

work la...

susah la nk ckp ngn u...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

abih mcm ana nie...

k tak pe...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

entah la...

u atth??

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

but u still with her kan...

nope..

aru break..masi nak njoy lag ar..

hahaha

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

samer la...

i fikir gitu jugak..

semlam aru i gi zirka...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

yeke...

smua sama je...

o..okies...

i dah lama tak g club seh...

i skg more to kuda kepang ar..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

u maen kuda kepang...

alamak...

sorie ehk..

i tak minat kude kepang ar...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

alah nie smua seni lah..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

oh...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

i tak main mabok i stakat main gamelan je..

apa lah u nie..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

oh....

sorie la...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

i dulu kaki club tap skg dah tak...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

i mane tahu...

asl da tak???

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

tak ada kaki lag..

i dulu minat MOS je...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

nie you da ade....skg nie...

i...

MOS dulu laen...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

tak nak lah...dgn u plk..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

skg st james la...

hehehe...

asl tak leh ke...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

susah lah i nak jejak alik nant setan seh i kat dlm...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

hehehe...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

u tak kuar pe???

btw u tgl mana

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

tak..

chill pat umah...

yishun...

u..

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o...gd boi lah nie...me bedok..

u...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

mane ade good boi..

jap agi i nk gi maen takraw..

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o..oklah tu...gd boi juga pe...hahaha

u...

i nak tanye ckit leh tak..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

yesh...

ape spe die...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

mcm mana u leh knal yeul???

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

dari tagged jugak...

die penah gi double O ngn i...

kenape???

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o....stakat kwn je kan..

not more than tat kan..

psl i seram ar nak kwn dgn my kwn nye bekas...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

dont worry...

i jst kwn club die je...

k...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

okies..

so i masi save lah nie

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

save la...

hehehe...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

okies..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

ade chance nk kha.........hehehehehe....

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

abih asl u takot die mengamok eh???

apa u..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

hehehe...

pasal die kuat jealous...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o..okies..

me pun tau...kuat jeles...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

i joget ngn gal laen, die aket ati...

padahal i ngn die kawan je...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o...okies...

tak pe lah yng penting u dah tak dgn die kan..

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

yup...

u..

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

apa...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

i nk solat jap...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

o..okies...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

abg gi dulu k...

kang terlepas kang...magrib...

brb...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

hahaha...

okies bang...

@MoNsTeR EnErGy@ says:

hehehe...

*-~iRa ChIaKi~[iRa_cHiAkI DoK...]-[eVeRy MoMeNt i SpEnD

WiTh YoU iS a MoMeNt i TreAsUrE FoReVeR...] says:

bye..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PATHETIC F*CKIN JERK RYTE?!!! *shakes head*

dun assume it ends der. ders more to it actuali. juz tat girlfie was lazy to copy paste the long convo and send it to me.

plss ehk, kau sembahyang pon tk gune siaa kalo prangai masih same! masih buat fitnah, masih nak fool ard. i min sorry to say ah. bukan nak ckp aku ni pandai or ustazah ah. tapi dgn prangai kau tetap maintain mcm tu, wats the point kan? soo unsincere!

abe wats eur motive siaa by commenting on my girlfie pfile and agn, leaving her a comment on the pic she took wif me? ape, "kirim salam yeul" ? oke ah, ko da comment kat gmbr cukop ah. abe nie kat pfile dier skali? and eu said the same thing! juz to send eur regards? was tat on purpose? juz to make me read it? well, guess wat? aku pon tk heran dgn kirim slm kau tu! pfft! abe yg penting kau ckp aku jelez? memang ah aku jelez. tapi at tat point of tyme pe! and i wish to correct eu on sumtin. sape yg nak ikot sape ehk gi club? isit me who followed eu, or the otha way round? sape yg nak ikot sangat sampai uat tat muke-step-kesian-mcm-mintak-akunye-penampar ehk? abe sape yg mengamok aku joget dgn jantan laen? or even, juz camwhoring wif em! kiwak~ pembohong bsr siak kau! prangai mcm unclenye mude-mude! nak burokkan name org jek! name sndri konon step suci dlm debu ah kire. stoppit ehk, tkmo mcm p.

abe eu lied to girlfie saying, kau and aku kwn ehk? hmm~ sape yg melalak bile kena msk DB ehk? sape yg takot ku tinggalkn dier and go wif otha guys wen hes inside? sape yg tk abes-abes nak srh ku support dier in takraw?! sial nye jantan! besar nye sial! i dint wanna say all dis vulgarities ah actuali, tapi eu'v crossed the line! i cnt do anitin els besides throwin all dis vulgarities to eu!

i feel sorry fer the gf siaa. dis asshole is usin the same ol tactic to get otha gerls! mcm knnccb! he tinks by doin tat, he can make my girlfie fall fer his trap? well dude, eur wrong!

and eu noe wat? the intention i used to haf of takin back my stuffs frm eu wasnt in my mind anymore. but eversince i read tat convo juz now? made me change my mind. i am more motivated to get dos stuffs bck frm eu! and im praying hard to succeed!

i min lyke cum on ah! initially eu told the whole world eu wanna get engage ryte? but now? eur backstabbing eur own gf siaa! or even, eur so called "wife-to-be"! ape siaa mksd kau?! i pity eur gf. lyke seriuzly. she has been fooled by eu! i noe its not sumtin new to eu, fooling ard. but heyy, kalau prangai still mcm gni, jgn ckp tunang ah. nk beli dulang gubahan tu pon tak sampai!

eu now wat, fag? if eu happen to stumble upon dis blog of mine, i'v been wanting to say dis to eu.

YOUR WERDS HAF NO IMPACT ON ME COZ IT WILL ONLY DRIVE MY POSITIVITY LEVEL TO THE MAXIMUM!

geddit?

fer dos who haf been followin on my story, eu noe wich jerk im refering to.

psst ; eur beyond redemption siak!

2009-11-01T01:27:00.021+08:00

wat will eu do, if sumone eu tryna avoid kept texting and wanting to mit eu?

wat will eu do, if eur parents dun reely agree, of eu befriending wif a guy fren, whom eu can oways talk to bout anything? and wen i said ANYTHING, i min it.

wat will eu do, if sumone whom eur comfortable talking wif, who is a guy actuali, is foreva wif his "smangat maggie" attitude? eventho eu'v ardy forgiven him tyme and tyme agn fer all the "janji melayu" he has made, will eu continue to forgive him and gif him anotha chance?

wat will eu do, if guys leave eu their contact number, and xpect eu to get in touch wif em. will eu?

wat will eu do, if one day, eu realise tat eu haf totali forgotten wat it feels lyke to be in a relationship? or even, knowing wat eu shud do, and wat eu shud not, wen eur in it.

lastly,

wat will eu do, if eu finds out tat eur bestfren, arent the same lyke how he/she used to be?

where can eu find the answer to all dos questions, dudettes? *scratches head*

psst ; watching TBM buat aku sakit hati sangatttt~

2009-10-31T03:45:00.006+08:00

aku mengamok sendiri siakk tadi! eu noe why? coz i didnt get to watch the ending part of my fav indon sinetron, 'Cinta dan Anugerah'! pathetic ryte?! arggh! tgh crucial episode siaa tadi tuu! abe danak kena balik! walaooo! pluss, my "boyf"[Miller] shuldnt haf died! he dun deserve to! and the best part is, i wud especially struggle on fri nytes, switching channels between my 'Nur Kasih' on TV3, and 'Cinta dan Anugerah' on RCTI. bof same timing oke?! idiot ryte?! tularh RCTI! sape suruh tukar new tyme slot fer tat show?! aku yg pening kpale tau! grrr! i reely nid to find tat show online or search fer the cds. i dun care! i'v missed quite a few episodes, thnx to the new tyme slot! grr! -.-"

oke, i reely nid to stop tinkin or mentionin bout it ardy! ade je nanti mengamok agi. haaha!

ohh, i tink i'v made up my mind. i will write to him one of dis days. not sure when, but i sure will. at leaz he's aware of wadv tat has been happenin ryte? in few mths tyme, the year 2010 will arrive. i wonder how tings gonna be by den. haix~

A'an misses eu. <33

psst ; happily ever afta dun exist.

2009-10-28T02:38:00.022+08:00

my one WHOLE day was spent wif my one and only, BitchyBoo. i was on leave today as i need to attend my doc appt. so yeaa, she has been reely a sweetheart. accmpnying me to evry single plc i need to go. unfortunately, its juz wasnt our day ryte, bitch? tapi tkpe, yg penting kite tetap dpt fulfil our cravings kan! yay!

okeoke, nex! i had a FUN-tastic tyme wif my lovely BeBoTz last sunday. finally, we manage to gather the 5 of us agn! kalau tak, mesti slalu ade je satu tertinggal. hehs. so, hoorayyyyy!

actuali im kinda lazy to upload the pics here since i'v ardy upload it in my FB acct. yess, almost ALL of the pics we took tat day are in my FB. but to be fair, i'l juz upload few of it here oke? so at least korang dpt kpo-kpo sikit larh kan? hehs. yang lain pandai-pandai lah view FB saye iyek? macehhhh~ *smiles*

MORE????

:
::
:::
::::
:::::
::::::
:::::::
::::::::
:::::::::
::::::::::
:::::::::::
::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
::::::::::::::

FB LARHHH!!!! TAK PANDAI-PANDAI JUGAK?!

time check : 3.49 AM

and i reelyyy nid to get my ass off to bed. werking in few hrs tyme hoi! sweet dreams!

psst ; akusayangkorang!

2009-10-22T22:34:00.006+08:00

depressed. upset. frustrated. im goin berserk!

my mind is in a whirl. i couldnt do anitin els besides crying. knowing the outcome juz upsets me. ryte frm the tyme i knew the result, i juz cnt focus. be it doin my stuffs at werk, or even watching tv. my mind was elswher. i min i knew i shuld be prepared fer dis to hpn. even the coordinator ardy warned me before. but i juz cnt avoid the feelings ryte? tats nature.

so daddy aint suitable to be my donor fer now. he said its not reely confirmed tho. still pending. mummy was the 2nd option. im not sure if she needs to do all the necessary test ardy, juz lyke wat daddy did. im juz afraid. TOO afraid. wat if the result turns out to be the same as daddy? wat shuld i do den? the tots of it juz bothers me, soo much.

im ardy on the verge of givin up on my treatment. der was once, dis particular nurse frm my treatment place asked me dis ques, " have eu ever tot of running away or avoiding frm eur ______[the treatment im goin thru]?" my ans to her was, "yes, i do haf tat kinda tots sumtymes." and now tat the outcome turns out to be disappointing? yess, dumbfounded. haix.

well, lyke i'v said, im on the verge of givin up. but at the same tyme, im trying my very veryyyyy best to stand up strong agn, and continue wif lyfe, fer the sake of ppl ard me. my famlys, relatives, gfs and bfs. their motivations nvr fails to make me look on the brighter side of lyfe, and think positively. wadev it is, im juz praying fer the best, fer bof mum and dad. watching em sacrificing all dis fer me, made me realise sumtin. parents love fer their children has got no boundaries. so no matter how irritating, naggy, or stuckup dey are, juz appreciate em. its nvr too late to realise, ppl. :)

and lastly, i wish to share sumtin wif ya'll. afta watching dis vid, my heart reely goes out to her. i was kinda angry wif the vaccine tingy too actuali. she is gorgeous! but yet, dis hafta hpn to her. haix~

psst ; eur unpredictable eu noe tat?

2009-10-21T00:49:00.029+08:00

oke, sumpah dis movie is a MUST WATCH! and i reely mean it when i said MUST! i wuld rate dis movie 9/10. the remaining 1 point? coz im kinda left hanging. i min i wanna noe why dey started doin all tat kinda ting. and whos the ol lady who collected all tat "stuff"? and wat's she gonna do to it? sell it? eat it? questions questions questions. nevertheless, i stil enjoy evry moment watching and its reely worth my money. lyke seriuzly! obviously dis movie is not fer dos who's not into gore movie or dos who's lemah smangat. eu'l tend to maki-maki, pekik-pekik, tutop mate, tutop mulot or even, tongek-tongek[tat was wat happen to me and BitchyBoo! haahah!]

eu may think tat im exaggerating, but its been soo long since i watched a movie, and felt a great sense of satisfaction. i juz duno why. im soo into the movie! so plss, go watch! eu wont be disappointed. i promise! hehs! ohh, its M18 btw. so, sowy TwinnyLove! ;)

nex target,

[PARANORMAL ACTIVITY]

[JENNIFER'S BODY]

i watched the movie trailer, and told BitchyBoo, "yg penting cite nie kena tgk dgn laki ehk. HAHAHA!" *winx*

i reely had a blastful tyme wif her tat dae. shopped, gossiped, camwhore, movie. tats how we spent our quality tyme 2geda. its been awhile since we last met. but no matter how far apart we oways are, we managed to keep the bond between us strong. she has oways been a gud adviser and listener to me.

so ppl, presenting my one in a million BitchyBoo, Ct Riah.

kaya kaya kaya~

my red strips? dead and gone.

shoppe shoppe shoppe! ;)

Siti is the name, bitches!

sempat tau dier nak touchup~

feeling runway lah kononnye~ haaha! but i swear dis is candid!

and we bumped into her too! Fizah, she is.

thinking back, the convo i had wif her afta she snapped dis pic of mine[the top one], it kept me smiling to myself. hehs!

Me : ey, lawanye aku! T, lawa kan? *showing to her the pic*

Me : *smiles* T..... aku lawa tak?

BitchyBoo : *sarcastic smile* lawaaaa..... maner tak lawa~ kwn aku sume lawa-lawa. tak lawa aku taknak kwn.

Me : HAHAHA! prangai sunddd siaa kau!

BitchyBoo : HAHAHA!

ohh, and rmber the tyme while we'r waiting fer the arrival of our food beb? yg penting makan pkai shades ehk! muahahas! siak btol. prangai kontol siaa kite~ hehs! tapi tkpe! mcm mane ke-kontolan kau pon, aku ttap sayang kau! muahh muahh! *winx*

psst ; eu, i kept reminding myself its all juz infatuation. :)

2009-10-18T02:35:00.010+08:00

i'v made up my mind, and im stoppin all dis. yess, im soo proud of myself fer being able to come up wif xcuses juz to avoid frm meeting eu. *pats shoulder* in fact, days before ramadhan i'v been trying to avoid eu. hehs. i wanna put an end to all dis. i'v had enuff.

i dunno why, but nowadays, im not even concentrating on merekamerekamereka. kalau ade, ade. kalau tkd, mcm tk heran gtu lorh. mebbe bcoz im too afraid of it ardy? coz ppl ard me haf been gettin constant heartbreaks. so yeaa, im tryin not to be in tat position. if can try to avoid, why not? agipon mcm tk penting gtu ah.

AND IM SOO GONNA BURN MY FATS TMR!

gym wif TwinnyLove and lil'bro in few hrs tyme! yay! and afta tat, gonna meet up wif my bitch in the afternoon. double the yay-ness! *winx*

psst ; stop all dos drama larh ehk! tk perlu.

2009-10-15T16:53:00.083+08:00

dora the explorer. anak jepun. babydoll. lady gaga.[yg penting lady gaga ehk. bkn lady gagap. muahahas!]

dis are the names which my ppl gaf eversince i cut my hair short, a week before raye. rambot raye katekan! hehs. and talking bout my hair, now tat my red strips are fading and will soon be gone, i want a new colour! nak jgak! nak jgak! muahahas! tats why some ppl say dun ever dye/highlight eur hair wif dos bright colours. dey wont last long. chet!

*coughs* ehem-ehem!

hello hello fellow earthlings! hows eur raye? great? no? well, as fer me, the enthusiasm is not der dis year. feeling raye mcm kureeeennggg gtu kan. haix. lyke i'v said before, dis year lyke no mood to celebrate it. kemas uma pon mcm main-main gtu kan. tak se-smangat as the prev years. altho i cnt deny tat i kinda gt emotional during mlm raye while listenin to the 'takbir raye'. in which in the past, me and eldersis wuld oways listen to it 2geda. nanti dier tgk muke aku, aku tgk muke dier, pastu nangis. kaauuuu~ touching kannnn? mcm filem hindustan gtu siaa. HAHAHA!

tapi tu pon zaman dier tgh anak dara. skrg da jadi mak dara, dade famly sndri, trpkse la aku uat cite hindustan tu sndri. haaha! and the reason of me gettin emotional tat nyte? the tots of my late grandparents, Tok Wak and Jujuk plays in my mind. i wonder how wuld it be like if dey are stil ard up to dis dae. and more importantly, how wuld dey react/feel, knowing tat me, their grandchild, is sick. i even imagine tat i cried, afta wich dey hugged and comforted me. haix. :'(

abe obviously ferst day raye kalau part-part maaf bermaafan tu aku sensitipp sikit. agn, emotional larh kan. hahaa. but i teared more hearing wadev mummy spoke to TwinnyLove and elder bro. mcm awwww~ oke yeul, enuff. shhh! nant ade jek banjir kat sini agi. hishh!

hmm~ oke, nex. honestly, im stil in dilemma. initially, it started off wif one. but dis tyme, its two . yess, im stuck wif TWO blardy dilemma ryte now. altho the second issue dun reely concerns me. it concerns my gf. haix. see wat im tryna say? wen eur havin some BIGBIG and real serious probs wif eur bf, who do eu look fer? me ryte? but wen eur havin eur hehehaha moments 2geda, do eu even rmber to look or confide in me bout anitin? no! not at all. eversince eu guys got 2geda, the oni tyme tat i can meet/see eu was wen either eur bored and got nuthin to do, or eur facin some probs in eur rshp. TATS WEN I CAN SEE EUR FACE! if not, never!

sumtyms i feel lyke im a trash to eu. if eu think tat eu nid me, den eu'l appear. if not, byebye. eu'l put me aside. and now tat eur facing major probs, eu noe how to come back to me crying huh? tat nyte, whos been der fer eu the whole tyme, listening to eur stories patiently? ME! who lent eu a shoulder to cry on, wen eu needed to cry badly? ME! who comforted eu, advises eu, motivates eu and gaf eu words of encouragements, wen eu felt as if the whole world came crashing down on eu? ME! the ques now is, WHERE THE HELL WAS HE?! mane lelaki yg kau puji-puji slame nie? wher was he, wen eu needed him the most? at eur most crucial moments. wher was he?! where?! where?! tats why ppl say, TREASURE EUR FRENSHP.

oke, i admit i dun reely like the idea of eu guys being 2geda. but at the same tyme, im tryna help bof parties. helpin fer the sake of fairness and justice. so yeaa, im not on anione sides ryte now. i dun wanna elaborate more bout it. wadev tats goin on between the bof of eu, its juz between us. and as fer the otha dilemma tat i'v mentioned, oni my bitch, Ct, noes. so plss, helpppp! wat am i suppose to do? shud i? or shudnt i? ohh, do slp over at my hse agn! plsss! hehs.

and reshuffle on my fav idols!

1st plc - SYLTRA/MAE/TABITHA [i reely hope eider 1 of dis 3 will be dis seasons idol!]
2nd plc - Sezairi
3rd plc - Amira

tats bout it fer now. pichas nex! all dis were taken weeks back. frm the oldest to latest. hehs. more on facebook! enjoy viewing! *winx*

"tkpe dik, akak dah maafkan daa~" haaha!

"eyy! jambunyee akuu!" our same ol' dialogue. hehs!

dearest cousin.

when Khalil saw dis pic, he asked, " nie eu nk joget rongeng ke zapin?"

TADAAAA~!!

bibik, eu look scary. hehs!

muke botox-botox. HAHAHA!

kakakku jambu, muke plastik. haaha!

bapak muke disaster! muke maintain gtu je ehk pak. HAHAHA!

Happy 21st, Abby Farhan! ;)

my bitch is loved, oways!

thnx to me, hes now addicted to it. :)

Khalil, one of my best 'kaki'.

tats the reason why we'r sibs, lil'bro. ;)

psst ; ape nak jadi, jadilaaa~

2009-09-11T00:10:00.005+08:00

oke, ferst tings ferst. lets talk bout dis season of spore idol shall we?

well basically, following are list of my fav idols fer dis season. first on the list,

1. MAE STA MARIA
2. Tabitha Nauser
3. Syltra Lee
4. Sylvia Ratonel
5. Fathin Amira
6. Sezairi Sezali
7. Faizal Isa
8. Farhan Shah

if Jannah Shaharuddin is still in the comp, fer sure her name wuld be in the list too. but too bad larh kan. haix. tkpla, aku pon Jannah per! tapi Jannah Ali ahh. spe-SIAL sikit. huahuahua! okeoke, back to the topic. mann! i was soo shocked siaa when initially, Mae Sta Maria's name was not announced by Gurmit to be part of the Top 12. damn she's gud! i tot spore haf made a HUGE mistake. but end up, it was indeed a surprise. Top 13 instead of Top 12! thank god! hehs. and i seriuzly tot tat Duane Ho wuld be eliminated tat nyte. i min his voice is oke, juz tat to me, he dun haf the "package" to represent as a spore idol. no offence tho. juz stating the facts. oke wat els? ohh ohh! and Faizal looks xtra hot tat nyte! he reely looks like Shariff frm SleeQ! the way he dress up, perform, everything. goshhh! *melts*

HAHAHA! ahh~ gatal! gatal! kan bulan puase nie yeul?! *slaps forehead* tapi gue nggak bisa lari dari kenyataan kok. hehs! i tink sooner or later i'l be juz lyke 1 of those idol's groupie out der. muahahahas!

enuff bout idols, nex topic, THEM.

i tink im missin my 'kekasih gelapku' ardy. tularh! step heroin lagi kan aku nie. mcm p. jek blang dier tknk jmpe fer dis whole mth. bulan ramadhan katakn. nak elakkn dari menambah dosa larh kononnye. end up aku yg menyesal kan? padan muke aku! hoho! tapi im still alive and kicking per. haaha! but on second tots, bagos jugak larh kan kite tk bertemu. who noes, slowly, as tyme goes by, dis feelings will soon fade? i may not even think of him animre? mebbe tats the best fer us? especially me. *smiles*

and A____? it seems lyke hes been koling me often dis daes. pluss, the transformation in him? i dunno. i juz felt proud bout it. seru da memanggil katakn. umur pon da lanjut. hehs. i rmber how i use to haf dis "fantasy" tat im gonna spend the rest of my life wif him. and fyi, hes the ferst guy tat i'v waited fer 3 long years, juz wanting to be wif him. but in the end, i gaf up. coz i dint wanna get myself hurt any further. i dunno wats his agenda fer "appearing" agn, wen i'v finally managed to move on wif my lyfe. im trying real hard not to fall fer him agn now. its best if we remain as mutual frens. haix.

and ppl, i tink dis will be my last update fer dis mth. da larh skrg nie tgh stgh jalan kemas almari. sempat nak blog. haaha! yeaa, gonna strt preparing fer rayer lyke crazy. spring cleaning! spring cleaning! not to forget, need to do kueh koko krunch oso! yummy yumm! *drools*

i'v been listening to Ria evrynyte, juz to listen to the rayer songs. and im in the mood fer rayer ardy! woohooo! cnt wait to jalan rayer wif my beloved 2I's klazmates especially. tapi, mcm biasela kan. kami ber-4 the planner. hehs. yay! and talking bout rayer, most of -them- haf been asking me wif whom im gonna celebrate my rayer dis year. well, dgn famly larh kan! dgn sape lagi? haaha! nolarh, if eu guys are refering to couplecouple tingy, the ans is NO ONE. aku tetap akan menjadi musafir di aidilfitri. tetap akan bersendirian, tak kire tahun lepas, tahun ini, tahun depan, ataupun tahun seterusnya. aku tetap aku! HAHAHA! tkde link siaa~

lastly, im soo gonna cut my hair short dis wkend! cnt stand it ardy. my hairfall is gettin frm bad to worst! baru angan-angan nak simpan rambut mcm Rapunzel dis year. nampaknye mcm tk menjadi larh kn? nex tyme sudaa~ muahahas!

okela, guez im ending my entry ryte now. need to cntinue wif the bajussss. slamat mlm sumernye! dan slamat bersahur iyek nanti! hingga kite bertemu kembali~ hehs.

psst ; slamat menyambut hari rayer yg akan menjelang tdak lamer lagi, teman-teman! ;)

2009-09-09T02:55:00.019+08:00

we used to be the BESTEST gf ever. mane ade kau, mesti ade aku. but eversince eu guys got together, things seems to change. im not the only one who tot dis way. few of eur gfs too. bof of us seems to haf misunderstandings evry now and den. even on the slightest, smallest issue. and the main topic of it, the same ol ting - HIM. why?

and when i asked why eu went missing the past few mths, eu admitted the truth. it was about tat nite. and dis issue happened few mths bck siaa. haix. juz as i tot so. tat xplains why eu "vanished". no kols or smses frm eu. its soo unlike eu. i knew sumtin is wrong sumre. and ta-daa! i was ryte. the way eu sound is lyke, eur accusing me indirectly. eventho eu said eu dun blame me, evryting was in the past, blablabla. cum'on beb. dis is not the ferst tyme. im soo upset, hurt and disappointed wif the way things are ryte now. or even, the change in eur attitude. we used to be soo happy together. i dunno if his existence is a gud thing or a blessing to eu. well, mebbe it is. but in my opinion, its not helping in anyway. tat includes the frenship we'v been havin the past few years.

honestly, i am happy fer eu. wif the lyfe eur leading ryte now. but on the otha hand, im kinda upset pluss angry tho. things are way too diff den last tyme. in the past, eu would oways look up to me wheneva eur ups or downs. but now? hes eur ferst. hes the one eu look upon now. yeaa, hes eur EVERYTHING. haix.

i dunno beb. i dunno if i shuld kol dis jealousy or wadev. im in dilemma. the moment eu admitted evryting juz now, ferst person on my mind tat i wish to pour out my woes was F___. hes the only alibi i had fer tat particular nyte. he may be able to back me up. on second tots, no. i knew nuthin will cum out of it eventually. so why bother larh kan?

wadev it is, i'l still pray fer eur happiness. im happy if eur happy. i juz hope tat things will resume as it used to be. i juz want the ol eu bck. and i'v decided, its best if i avoid him. its best if our eyes dun meet. not sure till wen, but i guess dis is the best solution fer the 3 of us. juz to avoid further complications/misunderstandings. till den~

Love,

Me :)

psst ; are eu sure eur ready fer dis, when eu eurslf are stil unstable?

2009-09-06T03:02:00.004+08:00

heyy heyy heyy! hows evryone doin? hows fasting so far? hehs. my apologies fer being MIA yet agn. been reely reely tight up and lazy to updte dis blog of mine. pluss, blogger's gettin frm bad to worst siaa. geram jek! evrytym wanna updte cnt. sumtyms i juz felt lyke "closing dwn" my blog. dun wanna blog animre. but on second tots, mcm sayang gtu kn? hmm~ still under cnsideration. haha!

so basically, alot of tings happened during the tyme i went missing. too much, wherby at tymes wen im alone, i broke dwn. sumtyms it ended up wif me getting migraines and havin sleepless nites. too many things goin thru my mind. be it bout -them-, in which i noe its kinda tk perlu gtu kn. tapi sum things eu juz cnt avoid frm thinking ryte? or bout my conditions. yess, witout realising, its been olmoz 2 years now. and i heard afta rayer, mummy and daddy are able to go fer all the necessary test ardy. im kinda nervous and scared actuali.

i'v been asking myself few ques lately. such as, between mummy and daddy, i wonder whos gonna be the most compatible donor fer me? and, IF one of them suits me, am i wrong to take "it" frm em? i juz dun wanna feel guilty bout the whole situation. in fact, i musnt feel tat way, coz fer sure it gonna affect the test i'l be doin in a way or two. haix. im confused. still, no matter how/what, i kept reminding myself wadev Fey advises me the otha nyte. hey, i was counseled by sumone whos been der oke? i min, sort of? dis kinda ppl are the reason of why im still standing strong up to dis dae. especially, my famly. wif the situation im in ryte now, frens and famly support are wat i thirst most. so, tankiu. thnx fer being der weneva im in need. *smiles*

as fer -them-, pening kpale. sum juz simply come and go. sum juz went MIA totali. sum even confessed unexpctedly and letting me suffer frm a heart attack. haaha! sum ppl frm my past came back. and sum, did one stupid mistake, and spoil the whole thing, includin sumtin i kol, frenship. *shakes head*

hmm~ wat shall i highlight on nex? oke, rayer! *kening naik-naik*

puase tk full nk ckp psl rayer ehk? hehs! aku peduli ape! nk ckp jgak! hoho! guez wat? baju rayer saye da siappppp! weeeee! bsok jgak da le rayer! muahahas! turquoise and yellow it is fer dis year! and ohh, i rmbered twinny saying she dint haf the mood to celebrate rayer dis year due to her O's. but sayang, juz rmber dis oke? at leaz eu get to celebrate rayer as oways. juz lyke the prev years. stil can go house visiting till mlm. as fer me? the 2nd dae of rayer dis year is gonna be diff. i hafta cut my visiting tyme short oke? and tats wat sux the most. ape, org happyhappy klua smpi mlm, aku kena walk off siangsiang. haix. boringggg! so, now who has the ryte to say she gt no mood to celebrate rayer dis year?

ohh ohh! and i wish to thank the advance tech we'r having dis daes. why? coz thnx to it, i manage to get in touch wif long lost frens, or even cousins whom i dun even talk to whenevr we met. and my cousins im refering to, is my adik sdare who i used to mention, Faiz. pluss, ah yg nie important! abg sdare angkatku, Firdaussssss! huahuahua~ yess, him! org yang slalu akan betaper kat biliknye bile kite datang rumah dier. hehs! slalu lpas salam mak bapak aku je, tros masok bilik tk klua-klua. kite danak alik, baru larh dier klua agi and salam. evry year same jek pattern dier. the reason why he oways lock himself up in his room? psl malu! malu ade anak dara. tats wat he said. haaha! mamposss~ BUT! BUT! dis year's gonna be diff! we ardy made a deal. yay! i hope evryting turns out as planned. tak sabar aku nk serbu rumah dier! juz wanna ensure if he reely mean wadev he said. hehs!

da larh, enuff bout evryting. i gotta try get my beauty slp. i'l updte agn wen i can. im gonna be busy soon aniwae. wif spring cleaning and buat kueh. hehs! who noes afta rayer den i'l b able to updte? haaha!

toodles evryone~ slamat berpuase iyek! *winx*

psst ; sumone in dis famly is starting to disappoint me bit by bit.

2009-08-16T00:39:00.054+08:00

idiot siaa! blogger's being an asshole agn! padahal dari aritu da smangat nk update psl my last wkends. chet! cb ahh nie blog! gerammmm jek! menguji kesabaran gue ahh. pfft!

oke, enuf bout my temper aite. so, how did i spent my last wkends? it was a BLAST! watched fireworks and afta wich simpang bedok-ing. gue sukaaa skali! since it was spore's burfdae, red and white was our theme. weeeee!~

tyme spent wif dearest famly is wat i enjoy most. especially the part wher me and my 2 bitch sistas sang all our spore songs aloud, to the extend when i realise ders dis chinese guy who took a pic/vid of us. sempat siaa stop dpn kite and snap. muahahahas! ey budak! kalau amik vid jgn luper upload kat utube oke?! HAHAHA! verryyyy kecohrable! aku suke, aku suke! and tat dae mummy was kecoh too. she joined us. our very own "choir" grp. hehs! *kening naik-naik*

so, pictures yea?

[seblom klua kena shiok sendiri dulu oke? hehs.]

[dimple same kan mcm Afgan?! i noe! cintaku bukanlah cinta biasaaa~ haaha!]
[oke, dis budak here mcm out of colour sikit. dari negeri mane ntah dtg. spoil ahh dekni!]

[wif my 'bendera bergerak'. hoho!]

[the unc and aunts.]

[mummy and mama.]

[majulah, singapuraaaa~]

[tgk! cute kan babyyyy! gerammm! mcm doll siaa! hehs!]

[one big happy famly! *winx*]

[sweetttt kapaaa braderrr? mmg pon! muahahahas!]

[i dunno why, but i love dis pic. one werd to describe - complete].

[police! police! police! *winx*]

[tk sia-sia dulu cheerleader. 5,6,7,8. 1,2 down up! HAHAHA!]

[oni god noes how much i love eu, bitch.]

[oke, my cam sux big tyme wen capturing dis magical moments. cb!]

[8.22 pm ; together, the spore's pledge. HAHA!]

[im older, but yet the pampered one. hee!]

[the LIVERPOOL baby supporter.]

oke, wat shall i highlight on nex? hmm~

honestly, afta toking to -her- bout our TNG tat dae, i didnt reely feel bad, guilty, angry, regret or [fill-in-eurself] as how i felt bout myself since the ferst dae tings started. i reely felt much betta afta confiding in -her-. -her- advises evryting reely made me tink positive. eventho i noe its stil wrong. but heyy, tings ardy hpn. i cnt turn back tyme, and i cnt please evryone at the same tyme ryte? she told me tat we cnt juz blame ourselves, coz even our "superior" used to be lydat. in wich it seems logical to me. HAHA!

ohh, and during my meet up wif -him- laz nyte, we had dis serious talk between us. and i mean REAL serious. omg, hes the best "debator" i must say. ni kalau masok 'bahas 4pm' confirm menang! haaha! whenever he open up his mouth, ders no way i can win. be it in an arguement, or wen it cums to consoling or advising, hes stil the best. very mature kinda tinking. and tats wat i like bout -him-. his personality and maturity were the factors tat manage to capture my heart.

but now, tings are in kinda shaky state. shuld haf xpected dis to hpn kan? but tkp, i believe its gonna be fine. well, mebbe in a few daes tyme? or weeks? or who noes, never? lyke i told -her-, i can T, but its hard fer me to G. seriuzly. haix. *shakes head*

psst ; in 4 yrs tyme, i'll haf the supermodel body ehk? lyke wow gtu lorh! haaha! apeje eu!

2009-08-05T01:49:00.004+08:00

as oways, tat boy+friend of mine, Wan, would oways text me in the middle of the nyte. so afta my treatment last nyte, me, mummy and lil'bro had our late dinner sumwher near our housing estate. den he texted me and asked weder wanna chillax. and being the typical me, i rejected him over and over agn. fer the 780226480th tyme! HAHA! yeaa, coz evrytym he asked me out, eider my lazy or sleepy mood has been activated. lyke i said, i rejected his invitation. yet agn, he replied me the same ting, "you and your same ans evrtyme." hehs! bunyi mcm kesian gitu kn? end up me, being the goody gerl wif hati suci, ikhlas dan murni ini, decided to gif in, and juz meet.

gedebak gedebuk~ he reached my void deck, fetched me, and off we go to [fill-in-eurself]. a plc wher many ppl dun even noe it exist! its my virgin trip der, but his was the second. the ferst tyme he went was wen he ferst discovered tat plc, 2geda wif his colleague during werking hours. curi tulang je dekni! huahuahua~ BUT! beautiful surroundings i tel eu! nak gi lagi~ nak jugak! nak jugak! *insert muker kesian*

den we story telling sampai tak tgk jam ehk! da sampai uma kena jadi pink panther skejap siol. HAHA! haix. a nyte to rmber actuali. a nyte i'll nvr forget, my fren. hush hush yeaa? *winx*

IMLOVINIT! IMLOVINIT! IMLOVINIT!

;)

psst ; wan! two! three! four! HI-5! hehs!

2009-08-02T00:56:00.018+08:00

im feeling abit lighter and slimmer today! why? coz i went to the gym wif lil bro dis morning! ya, i noe! i noe! its been few donkey, monkey, baboon, giraffe years since i last step into a gym. muahahahs! i was excited to hop on the threadmill especially. so, did some workout wif him fer bout 2 hrs, den met dearest mummy, daddy and elder bro at bedok. i dunno why, but, elder bro has been spending more tyme wif us nowdys. i assumed bcoz he nids to go fer his trainin in camp fer the Cisco tingy post, dis 6th Aug? im sure he gonna miss us! especially his gf. hehs. so, back to the topic, we had our breakfast der, afta wich frm bedok, we went to geylang nex. it was kinda famly day fer us juz now. and tmr? elder sis will be cuming over fer lunch/dinner wif BIL and upin ipin! more famly day! i loikeee~ *winx*

hmm~ actuali, im filled wif mixed emotions ryte now. feeling shitty? pissed? excited? exuberant? disappointed? sad? i dunnoe. i seriuzly dun. well, eventho i met Yan fer awhile juz now and we did hangout all. in short, no matter who i went out wif, and tried to open up my heart fer each of em, it doesnt seems to werk. my mind and heart wuld stil be elswher. im still tinking bout -him-. NO NO! not tat jantan keparat. but, -him-. haix. eu noe wak amin kakak?(eu noe wat i mean? hehs.)

lagi lagi tadi tgk 'Syurga Cinta'. walandeyyy~ menambah nambahkan emosiku. cite romantic lorh! mak sukee skali! especially wif Awal Ashaari being the main actor. he juz makes me melt larh! can i haf him as my husband? or sumone lyke him as my husband? can i?! can i?! *insert muker kesian*

and here, watch dis. my fav songs! reely suits my mood now, i guez?

HAHAHAHA! oke daa! toodles evryone!

psst ; i miss eu, but im tryna control. =(

2009-07-31T01:10:00.003+08:00

gue sukaaaa bangetttt! happyyyyy skalikkkk! *grins*

hmm~ so, who shuld i choose? who shuld i gif way to? i dunno! sumpah tk tau! muahahahas!

ohh! btw, we went to haf our dinner outside juz now. and while goin dwn the stairs, i had dis LAME convo wif mummy dearest.

Me : Mi, adik rase rumah kite da kena serang ahh dgn nenek tuu. bukan nenek kropok tau. tapi nenek buah!

Mummy : huh? asal pulak?

Me : tgk ah kat tangga nie sumer! last 2 days cume nmpk kulit rambutan. abe smlm tambah plak! kulit mangosteen! ni nmpksah nenek buah tu buang sembarang lepas makan!

Me & Mummy : HAHAHAHA!

Mummy : ahh! nie buah kau nie! *while tryna touch tat "restricted area" of mine*

HAHAHAHA!

a'ah siak. madang buang sembarang jek~ ingat tangga corridor rumah aku ni tempat sampah per?! ni mesti construction worker tu sumer nye keje ahh nie! pfft!

on a positive note, -he- gonna help me wif my revision. yay! mak saye kater kan, kalau nk blaja, kena blaja dgn org yg dade experience! so yeaa, hes the ryte choice! double the yay-ness! *kening naik-naik*

cumeeee! aku still confuse. haaha! haix. hope tings gonna go juz perfect dis tyme! Amin~!

psst ; im getting braver each tyme! proud of eu yeul!

2009-07-29T00:37:00.019+08:00

FINALLYYYY! blogger is back to normal afta being an asshole fer so many days. chet! hello hello ppl! so hows lyfe sweethearts? hehs!

anyhoots, i was actuali halfway thru updating my entry the otha nyte. but due to some "distractions"(in which im actuali enjoying evry moment of it. haha!), i was lazy enuff to cntinue blogging. HAHAHA!

so so. as most of eu ardy noe, i juz had an operation done last week. Alhamdulillah, evryting went smoothly tat dae, and the wound is now healing. yess, i admit i cried during the procedure. wth, pain siaa! wat do eu xpect? hopefuli dis will be the last operation. haix, da bape byk operation ku da uat dis yr. oni god noes how i felt. da mcm ikan aku rase. potong sini, potong sane. within oni 1 year fer gudness sake! can eu imagine? and all the hosp bills and stuffs? its piling up. *shakes head*

on a brighter note, im loving my circle of frens each dae! yay! comes to tink of it, mebbe its true wadev Cat use to say. tat im happier if im single. and guess wat? im gonna remain dis way fer as long as i can! AGAIN! well, i dun even cnsider tat jantan keparat as my ex aniwae. why shuld i, if he aint seriuz ryte? so yeaa, its been 3yrs babbyyyy! wohoooo! its a miracle, yeul. indeed it is. haaha! my status nvr change fer 3 yrs. so wat? buekx!

i can go out wif hueva i want, contact wif anione i lyke. no one can stop me. yess! tats the reason why im loving my circle of frens! speaking of which, i tink im missing my RSH ryte now! boyfs! i miss eu siaa! sobs sobs. im still tryna hold on to the promises i'v made to myslf, eventho i noe im struggling. but heyy, its fer the betta i guez?

oke, fer now. pichasss! dis was taken during my date wif Azmi last wkend. read properly oke? AZMI. not HAZMI. and talking bout Hazmi, on the dae i was hospitalised, mummy asked me bout him, AGAIN! hazmi tau pasal kau masok tak? hazmi tau kau sakit? da brape lamer kenal hazmi? hazmi tak dtg? grr~ mummy is into him ardy i guess. kakak even says i can khawin now since mummy ardy gaf me greenlite. yuhh ryte! *roll eyes*

actuali Hazmi was suppose to accmpny me go to the hosp tat mornin. but since he juz came back frm werk tat few hrs before, he slept and couldnt wake up. altho he asked me to gif him a wakeup kol till he ans the fone, still no response. aku rase kalau rumah kena rompak pon de tak tau. haiyaa! and so i decided to gif up and let him sleep. he did kol and apologise wen i was ardy admitted during petang petang.

well, back to the topic. basically me and Azmi enjoyed each oder's cmpny tat nite. altho we dint gt to watch the show we were planning to watch - FIGHTING, coz end up kite yg 'fighting' tat dae. haaha! yeaa, gt small conflict. and i was the cause of it all. bcoz of wat? bcoz i was late. and super super late i mean. da muke monyok-monyok, at the end of the day, he was the one who apologised. hehs! awww~ how sweet! and thnx fer the dinner sahabatku! hee! well, hes lyke a lil bro to me larh. sumone who i can turn to. and evrytyme we met, the way he salam me? so cute. terharu sungguh! haaha! oke daa daa~ gmbr pulak!

[mkn muker tkmo seriuz ahh. plss? HAHA!][nie gmbr mcm aku tgh cium pantat pompan tu siak. HAHA!]

and dis was the same nite i saw AFYQ BAKRY wif HIS GF! hold hold hands hands! haaha! teros dgn pantas i texted twinny. sengaje nak sakitkan ati de. hoho! biasela, de kan ckp tu de nye "Babylup Cyg Bucuk-bucuk". ahh amik ko! babylup da selingkuh! muahahhas! but but but! she managed to take revenge and purposely disp her pix tat she took wif Ize Sulimannnn!!!!! gerammmm jek! tapi tkpe, fair and square! bof sakit ati. HAHAHA!

pluss pluss, dis are juz random pics tat i took during my stay in the hosp.

[tak mcm org sakit pon ehk aku nie? hehs.]

[dis is how it looks lyke ryte afta the op.]

[the nex dae ; dis was afta dey pull out the stitch evryting. pardon my bulusss. HAHA!]

ohh! i met adik sdareku, Faiz, at tamp fer awhile tadi afta werk. he wanted to borrow my mp3. so yeaa, i borrowed him my old one. hehes. spents bout 45 mins hanging out and buy him dinner. a very loud guy i must say. hehs. blablabla~ he nids to rush home coz future gf nanti bising. aku pulak nak rush home coz Wawan Anugerah da tunggu. HAHAHA! haix. kesian adikku sorang nie. tempang~ HAHA! and yuhh! he planned to kua same-same agn nex tyme. wif twinny too. alermak~ nanti aku yg paling "muda". huahuahua~

and im missing tat sunday! im missing tat sunday! sobs sobs. oke, gudnyte!

psst ; i do! i do! i do!

2009-07-20T02:38:00.011+08:00

dis post is specially dedicated to twinnylove.

GUESS WHO'S BACKKKK??!!!

and its, *drum roll*

+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+

IZE SULIMANNN!!!

muahahahs! i wonder why of all ppl, eu mentioned 2 of my guy frens name - Saiful and Kamal. chet! i ardy gaf eu the clue, hes not my fren, hes my crush! den eu mentioned ANUGERAH. tats even the biggest clue ever! still, eu ckp name bukan-bukan ehk? and the best part is, eu guessed it was Wawan from Anugerah. why? juz bcoz of the comments he gaf me? buekx! abe confident tau lepas tuu! siap dgn dier nye desperate housewife agi! HAHAHA!

yessa! i was jumping fer joy siaa when tat Gani Karim announced his name during the selections fer the wildcard round. happy sungguh! reely feel lyke kissing and hugging tat Gani larh! HAHA! oke, nie part tipu ehk! hehs.

wadev it is, it was unexpected. seriuzly. and twinny, take note of dis part.

"the one eu said muke kedi, muke tua nie larh, yg dpt anotha chance to continue his journey in anugerah. and the one eu said suare sedap, bagos, cute, padahal muke gremlins, tk dpt ehk? hurhur~ tularh, laen kali tkmo kutok-kutok! and i dun care if Ize gets eliminated agn afta the wildcard round. janji its obvious tat he's betta den eur gremlins! HAHAHA!"

psst ; IZE SULIMAN bebeh! yeaa!

2009-07-20T02:05:00.013+08:00

18.07.09 [jalan-jalan at geylang]

geylang, sipaku geylang. GEYLANG! haha! yeap! me, mummy, mama noni and lil'bro went to geylang to buy our kain fer raye. turquoise and yellow will be the colour dis year. yay! i loike!

afta getting our stuffs, we had dinner at Pelangi Cafe, located at TKC. omg, i was shocked when i saw all the workers are abg-abg. haaha! hensem siaa! one of the guy who took our orders was a malaysian. dun luk lyke one tho. tkpe, mlysian ke sporean tk kesah, yg penting cute! HAHA! mentel kauuu yeul! hiakk-dushh!

[wif lil'bro, who most ppl mistook him as my elder bro. chet! taikkk!]
[mama noni and lil'bro]

[mummy-ku!][mummy's sizzlin hotplate!]

[lil'bro foreva wif his fish 'n' chips. boringg!]

[eurs truly ate dis! yum yum! spag and steak 2geda!]

psst ; i shuld wear a sign tat says, "DUN LOOK AT ME."

2009-07-20T01:13:00.029+08:00

16.07.09 [slacking ard wif RSH and gf afta werk.]

met gf, Syaz, afta werk. had our dinner ferst while waiting fer the guys to join us afta visiting their fren. so gedebak gedebuk, gossiped wif Syaz fer bout 2 hrs, den Rahu came. so we went to the 500+ area. slacked ard. exercise on the batu-bata. den Hazmi and Syeikh joined. camwhore, bitching, pluss syeikh counseling me. so yeaa, the trio noes evryting bout me now. *winx*

[rahu's baby new look.][volcom all over. i loike!][he owns the bike.]

[i tink i haf guddd photography skills. he agree lorh! haaha!][dis is syeikh's baby look.][yeaa bebehhh! rockstar!]

[i kept telling him tat he looks cute here! hee!][nak step malu je nie anak! HAHA!][rahu tryna re-enact wat she did. muker mcm nk terkencit siol nie! HAHAHA!][hazmi and rahu.][feat. Syaz!][candid. but cool effect! thnx to me! yay! ][kental giler siaa nie! hoho!][err, geek in the pink?][new found girlfriend. <3]

psst : we'r bof tryna resist the temptations. haix.

2009-07-19T23:46:00.020+08:00

12.07.09 [one sweet dae.]

a day i'l rmber fer as long as i live. i swear. memories tat i'l nvr forget. and he shuld feel honoured, coz hes the ferst guy fren of mine, tat was given the privilege to go out 2geda wif my dearest famly! hehs. kinda nerve wrecking i muz say. not oni to him, but applies to me too! i dunno why i was shaking tat dae siaa. padahal juz kwn, and oso, it was my own famly siaa tat we went out wif. not his! haaha!

actuali it was suppose to be a date between us bof. but was forced by mummy and daddy to follow. he dint wanna go initially. coz malu. but pasal da kena bebual sndri dgn bapaknye kan, so no choice he hafta follow. haahaa!

wif the whole famly, pluss Mama Noni's famly, we ate at Apollo Restaurant at Race Course Rd if im not mistaken. he was ardy nervous sitting dwn wif my famly. he was even more 'gabra' wen Mama Noni's famly came. he was surprised. hehs. but alhamdulillah, evryting went smoothly i must say. he did a gud job. two thumbs up! *winx*

afta joining them, den we cntinue wif our date. watch Transformer(yess, i noe kinda ketinggalan zaman. hurhur!). we wanted to watch Ice Age actuali. but since he knew i'v been wanting to watch Transformer, he juz agree to it, eventho he ardy watch it wif his frens. haaha! well, he said he dun mind watching it agn, coz can see Megan Fox. chet!

and while waiting fer the movie to start, we slacked ard, camwhore and bullshitting. hehs.

Him : eee! bestnye nanti dapat tgk megan fox agi!

Me : stop it siaa eu! cum'on ahh, megan fox's a guy!

Him : ala, tkpla. kalau i klua dgn dier pon, mesti jantan-jantan sumer jealous. dier hot siaa eu! grrr~

Me : oke wait, tu pon kalau megan fox nak klua dgn eu kan?! HAHAHA!

Him : kuang ja! *roll eyes*

so yeaa, watched the show fer 2 and half hrs if im not wrong. sakit bontot aku! HAHA! and him? he'l be making dis stoopid sound effect, and start to get 'menggelitis' whenever Megan Fox appear. chet!

and afta the show,

Him : omg~ shes soo hot siaa!

Me : kpale botak eu! diam ehk, SHE used to be a HE.

Him : so? janji dier hot skrg. hissshh~ tkle tahan ah tgk dier! lagi-lagi yg ferst part dier posing atas motor.

Me : sanggop ehk eu? eu paid 8 bux juz to concentrate on megan fox, and not the robots?!

Him : HAHAHA! tkla! i concentrate jgak per on the robots!

Me : eu nie, nmpk megan fox tkle diam! mcm hantu! tapi nmpk mak bapak i, diam membisu!

Him : *insert step cute smile*

haix. lyke agn, the dae i'l nvr forget. can i turn back tyme? pretty plss?

[oke, uma berslerak, aku tau!][lyke omg, hotstuff!][sepettttt!][nie sumpah he step cute! HAHA!]

tats bout it. he planned to go to Apollo Restaurant agn. he addicted to it ardy. dis tyme wif syeikh too! and ice skating! yay! but, tk tau menjadi tk ehk. haix.

ohh! ders one tyme wen me and kakak kept comparing him wif sum otha guys. we kept saying he look lyke dis guy larh, tat guy larh. till ders one tyme wen kakak said he looks lyke Afyq Bakry frm Anugerah. *roll eyes*

i agreed of coz! especially the hair. olmoz the same.

Kakak : ahh dek, lagi satu! dier pon muker mcm afyq bakry ahh.

Me : a'ah ehk! lagi-lagi rambot dier kan?

Kakak : a'ah larh.

Me : but naseb baek nie muker tak mcm gremlins ehk? afyq kan muker mcm gremlins! HAHAHA!

Kakak : HAHAHA!

psst : i miss eu.

2009-07-19T19:04:00.047+08:00

21.06.09 [daddy's dae!]

ferst of all, i noe dis may seem kinda 'basi' ardy. but lyke wat me and the rest of my sibz wuld usuali say, WHOS SCARESSS?!(in which it actuali means, who cares? haaha!)

so yea, we celebrated daddy's dae tat dae. and wif BIL getting sexcited celebrating daddy's dae fer the ferst tyme. hehs. the whole famly celebrated it 2geda. as oways, elder bro culdnt join us. busy wif oni-god-noes-wat. pfft!

but before i met the rest of my famly membas at Eaz Point's Hans River, me and twinny went to Bedok Int to get the cake ferst. met Kamal fer awhile der, coz he wanna accmpny me, as well as bluetoothing his vids, music and borrowing my earpiece.

tats bout it, the pics will do the talking. *winx*

[twinny, rmber. kalo mmg orgnye da tk cantik, mcm ane bacin gmbr de pon, ttap tak cantik oke! so no point deleting the otha pic! still geram horr! pfft!]

[see? the otha monkey do, monkey see! HAHA! pakai nk same je! buekx!]

[si mentel, twinnyku. jgn luper, cardigan sewa! HAHAA!][oke, ni biadap! kuangsam budak kecik nie! maen snap jek!][my fav ring which initially was frm gold, now turn to silver. cb!][makcik kpo jgak! hoho. ni bkn kakak ajar adik ehk! hehs.][Kamal, the guy whos oso bz wif oni-god-noes-wat. pfft!][i dun even care eur the ygr bro to tat celebrity! once prangai, tats it! *winx*][his virgin celebration. hehs.][bapaknye and maknye~]

and der cums a part wher we, the sisters, had our own photoshoot session. HAHAHA! klakar, klakar. shhhh!

[yg nie paling klakar! ingat siaa. hehs. kakak, angkat tangan plss~ HAHAHA!]

[twinny said kakak looks lyke 'penanggal' here. HAHA!]

HAHAHA! mentel kan anak-anak dara nie sumer! ey salah, ade satu mak dara! muahahas! ikot sape ntah prangai ehk. suspect mak ahh. mak kami pon mentel wat! hehs. *kening naik-naik*

and dis was afta the "photoshoot".

[hoohooo! it looks lyke i haf long legs here! tapi padahal, padahal. hahaa!]

[gerammm! cute kn! mcm a'an de jgak! hehs.][ade budak tu pon nk kpo jgak amik gmbr mcm gni. padahal tk se-sweet as we are! HAHA!]

[ayah muker tk perlu! hoho~][i juz realise tat dis is my ferst tyme putting my arms ard BIL. kakak tk jealous kn? mekk~ haaha!][happy daddy's dae!]

fuhh! penat or wat upload gmbr! so happy now sisters? tunggu ape agi? grab it larh! tk sabar-sabar kn? hoho~

psst ; dey are simply the best!

2009-07-18T01:59:00.015+08:00

25.06.09 [party out wif gfs.]

i prefer goin wif my gfs den bfs siaa. lyke seriuzly. ohh, and tat nyte, i tot der will be nomre drama. mekk~ skali ade jgak ehk! naseb tk seterok as how my bitch used to tell me. hoho~ nevertheless, i did enjoy myslf wif em tat nyte. *winx*

[i love dis bitch ohh-so-much!]
[candid!][kami multi-racial oke? hehs.]

psst ; the drama queen. =)